Queer? No ta.

I'll certainly bear that in mind @buddyvlc, thank you for the note. 

This thread has really taken many different turns in the last day, fascinating!

Someone called me a bitch once in bed. I punched him in the nose...

... we ended up together for six months. You win some, you lose some. 😅

I think that bit of the Fawlty Towers episode is cut out. If it's the part I'm thinking of, the Major describes taking a lady to see India. But it was a Cricket Test Match at Lords probably India's first test match in 1932.

The Major we assume was born circa 1900, so may well have had fairly racist attitudes. Basil Fawlty likewise you would consider being narrow minded and having no regard what he said to whom. 

Rather like the Alf Garnett character, I assume it was written as being ironic and to show that the characters were stupid not to condone racist language to get cheap laughs along the lines of the working man's club type comedians. 

I think, with respect unless you are a person from the groups in question it's not fair to say 'you don't need labels' coming out is a constant process across your life and sometimes instead of explaining an entire sexual or gender identity history to a complete stranger, yes a label is easier. (it's a lovely thought that we'd move 'beyond' labels but we're pretty far from that yet)

Like Dickie Attenborough who called everyone darling or dear was it? Cos he couldn't remember their names. I do that now. I'm gonna try 'gorgeous' from now on. 

Danieljohnson14 - you confuse me in this post! At one point you tell snutte he/she can call you what they like, then you tell us you punched someone in the face for calling you "bitch"!!!!

Is the location of the calling important? We need to know!!

I think the reclaiming of the word queer has been going on for quite some time, I personally think that it's brilliant that LGBT+ people are flipping on its head something that was used to marginalise them not so long ago. If you call yourself the name, it suddenly removes the motivation for someone else to call you it as an insult.

Not all derogatory terms were even intended to be such, sometimes a generally accepted phrase will be abused and therefore quickly replaced by a new one. This sounds made up but the word "spastic" used to be the official term to refer to a person with cerebral palsy. The CP charity Scope was actually called the Spastic Society up until 1994. It was only when kids starting saying to one another "you're a spastic" in the playground and imitating the condition that it was phased out and something a little less catchy took its place. I mean it doesn't stop you being a tw*t if you call someone that, but it hasn't always been such an off-limits word. 

I'm not sure how many of you know but I'm transgender and am starting my hormones this autumn. I remember being with a group of friends and we were talking about which Friends character we were each most like, and I said "probably Chandler if he was a bit more of a tranny" and everything suddenly went very silent. Someone looked at me and said "I can't believe you just said that" to which I replied "why not? I am one!" The difference of course is when I say that the word "tranny" it's seen as liberating and brave (please stop calling everything I do brave, I'm not brave) and when someone else says it then they're a transphobe and should surrender themselves for re-education immediately.

The fewer words that we allow to be taboo, the less we can be hurt by. I don't feel the need to spend my life permanently offended because someone stumbled over their words and accidentally said "normal" when referring to someone who isn't transgender. Statistically we're less than 1% of the population so normal is probably a more accurate description than "gender non-variant aligning with assigned birth anatomy" or whatever it is the authoritarian powers that be have decided the only non-oppressive term is this week. I'm queer and I'm proud, so let's shout that word from the rooftops so that Fred from Hastings who thinks that gay people are a plague sent by God to punish us needs to find himself a new slur

It's like Craig Revel Horwood calling men darling on Strictly, the late great Freddie Mercury used to call people darling too I've heard.

As regards tranny for many years that word was associated with transvestite its only been in more recent years that it has been included in LGBT and the transexual meaning has come to the fore.

Some women didn't like being called Love when the feminist movement was getting going, I've known older women who will call people Love as a greeting to younger people so it is all about how people perceive it.

I hate racism yet I am often very politically incorrect.

Yes exactly that- obviously it isn't a 'get out of jail free' card that you 'didn't realise' and some things/words by now people should obviously realise not to use. BUT if someone is genuinely apologetic, and willing to be educated- a simple 'hey I wasn't aware of that, but I am now, sorry for any offence' should be acceptable. However the legions of the internet are so quick to pounce on someone as a pariah for simple mis-using a word or similar...seems very short sighted in a world full of actual racists and the like. Sigh, people etc.

There will never be a word or label to satisfy everyone as we are all individuals. Its important to remember that people dont give offence, people take offence, and only you can decide what you want to take.

Terms have changed so much over the years that i can no longer keep up, and before anyone lectures me about it, the term 'cis' just baffles me.