Theatre visits: Lone wolf or pack animal?

No, you do it while she's queuing for the ladies, guaranteed she won't be back for at least 20 minutes

Ladies, I realize it's not always fun being importuned by a strange man but think, please, of the poor guy working up his nerve to do the importuning. It's not so easy being a man.

Again, obviously just my opinion/experience but generally we know the difference between genuine guy genuinely interested in an actual date and your run of the mill sleazeball. If a guy approached me politely, or struck up a conversation and then suggested a drink or whatever if I wasn't interested I'd always do my best to be kind about it. Because mostly it's clear if it's a genuine decent thing, and nobdoy wants to be horrible.

well some women do, but that's the arsehole gene that's gender less.

I had a job a few years ago where I found myself spending a number of days each month in a succession of small towns, staying alone in hotels and eating out by myself each evening. At first I felt a bit daunted, as I often ate quite early evening in fairly deserted restaurants or pubs.

The hotels were no problem at all, but I certainly attracted attention in these small restaurants and pubs, where the staff often looked quite bemused when I turned up by myself to eat.  However, when ordering food, I usually chatted to the waiter/ barman and mentioned that I was in town on business for a few days, and honestly, it seemed to magically make the staff more relaxed and friendly as soon as I did this! It was really noticeable, as if women needed a specific excuse to be in these places.

Aside from this feminist insight ( ) I did realise that it also made me feel more confident when I did this. So I would highly recommend following the 'M & S sales manager' disguise if you feel so inclined.

Although now I think about it, why should I worry about people judging me at all? Life is too short. 

And I'm now picturing someone turning up at the theatre carrying a horse corpse.

I'm glad to hear it because that's certainly not how it's supposed to be done! (I do apologise) 

It is pretty clear that the majority of posters on this thread are not generalising at all - the very opposite in fact, we're talking of our own individual and specific experiences!

Funnily, I feel less conspicuous dining solo at a restaurant than at a pub. The latter seems to be far more social and the assumption by others is that I'm up for a chat or on the prowl rather than just eating and drinking. At a restaurant I can enjoy my oysters and vodka in peace.

As it stands I rather like talking to neighbours at the theatre before or during the interval. Plus I have no problems pulling out a magazine or a notebook if the conversation turns out to be a dud.

I think you know exactly what I meant and there's no need to be flippant about it and pretend I was saying anything else.

Not once did I say my experience was more valid than anyone else (so next time read my post properly before you start generalising again), but your original post wrongly assumed that such experiences happen to every woman - I pointed out that was not the case because I think a) your attitude is frankly unnecessarily off-putting for any woman who dares to go to the theatre by herself (I think most women are perfectly capable of realising by themselves that contrary to what you imply, the vast majority of theatregoers are not going to harass them) and also a bit insulting to the many, many ordinary theatregoers who wouldn't dream of doing anything like that to anyone regardless of their gender (and this is not an exclusively female issue despite you seeming to think it is).

Never did I say that sexism does not exist (not sure where you got that from except that it furthers your agenda), all I said was that in my experience I've never seen it happen - not to me or to anyone else at a theatre.  In other words, I was providing the counter from my own personal experience to your generalised post that seemed to imply the ridiculous notion that it is absolutely unsafe for a woman to go to the theatre alone.  I and many others are living proof that it's simply not true.  I go to the theatre alone multiple times a month and never get any attention of any kind from anyone unless I happen to initiate a conversation with the person sitting next to me.

If other people do get unwanted attention then obviously that's not ok (and again, I never said it was ok), but don't extrapolate from that that everyone who goes to the theatre alone will experience the same, because that's simply just not true.

And as for my remark about wanting attention, anyone with a modicum of humour would realise that this is an theatre forum and I was talking about not minding if someone did try to have a conversation with me in a theatre bar during the interval - for one, I might find a kindred spirit, and for another it can get a bit lonely going to the theatre alone when you don't have anyone to talk to!  I can take care of myself - if the attention is unwanted, I will make it very clear, and there are plenty of ways to make oneself safe in public places.  To suggest that I was talking about wanting to be harassed is ludicrous.

So I would appreciate if you actually bothered to read what I'm saying before diving in and blowing it out of all proportion and reading into it a lot of things that just aren't there.  

haha I don't discriminate on nationality...I'll look into that T-shirt, maybe it's another spin off from our badges?

I'm having a giggle as I read this just as 'Being Alive' came on shuffle...clearly the musical theatre universe has something to say...

As someone who sees 95% of her shows by herself, I can relate to this. Though I'm usually that person sitting at the interval reading a book. In all honestly, I've noticed that it's a lot more women than men who go by themselves to the theatre, there were three or four other women by themselves sitting next to me at An American In Paris the other week.

One of my friends that occasionally goes by herself to see shows by herself has ended up getting on really well with people she's met and still occasionally talks to some of them; to each their own I guess. 

I once went to the National with very well off friend. She managed to knock her glass of wine all over my £10 meal (when they had the nice food near the Lyttleton) ...she apologises profusely to me, whisks up my meal to take back....I thought to buy a new one...and then proceeds to LIE to the staff and say a little old lady spilled her drink on her meal and could they replace it?....it all happened so fast that I had no time to do anything, I was so shocked. She is no longer a friend