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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2017 17:29:24 GMT
The problem with solo viewing is nobody to share something wonderful with. There's always the forum as a last resort. I mean first. First resort.
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Post by justafan on May 14, 2017 17:38:48 GMT
I find the whole ticket booking process for more than one person incredibly stressful. Is the view ok, is the price ok, is there somewhere close by to eat beforehand, is the price for rail tickets ok, will my friends theatre etiquette be acceptable, are the leads on, have I overdone the marketing of the show ... I'm so stressed at this point I don't really care if they enjoy the show. So so much easier to go on your own! Tho I will go with others - so long as I don't have to organise or recommend a show 😀
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Post by HereForTheatre on May 14, 2017 17:42:09 GMT
90% of the time i go alone. That said, i still don't feel 100% comfortable about it becuase I was thinking about this yesterday when i was in the theatre and started wondering if anyone around me was wondering or finding it a little odd that i was on my own. Because after all these years of going on my own i can't believe that it still obviously sometimes crosses my mind or bothers me. It's silly really.
I'm going alone to The Colour Purple on Sunday evening. Actually thinking about it i think that it's more those types events it creeps in. I remember going to see a singer at the Palladium last year and i think gigs or concerts feel a little bit more exposing for a solo visit than a theatre performance. Maybe that's just me.
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2017 17:52:36 GMT
90% of the time i go alone. That said, i still don't feel 100% comfortable about it becuase I was thinking about this yesterday when i was in the theatre and started wondering if anyone around me was wondering or finding it a little odd that i was on my own. Because after all these years of going on my own i can't believe that it still obviously sometimes crosses my mind or bothers me. It's silly really. I'm going alone to The Colour Purple on Sunday evening. Actually thinking about it i think that it's more those types events it creeps in. I remember going to see a singer at the Palladium last year and i think gigs or concerts feel a little bit more exposing for a solo visit than a theatre performance. Maybe that's just me. Not alone in that- I feel weirdly weird going to gigs/concerts alone. I'd be ok at a sit-down concert somewhere like the Albert Hall or something classical/musical ish I think but it still feels a bit odd. I tried going to a 'proper' gig alone once but found it so miserable/weird I came home before the band I'd come to see (it was only in a live music club not a big concert so hadn't spent lots of money)
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Post by grannyjx6 on May 14, 2017 18:21:12 GMT
It is a bit odd going to a 'gig' on your own, but I've been quite happy going to my local theatre solo for a few years now. I used to book groups for theatre trips at work and it was a flipping nightmare collecting money, sorting tickets etc. I took redundancy/early retirement a few years back and although I was asked to carry on, didn't and find it soo much easier to go only at a time/price/date that suits me. It is nice to have a like minded friend with you though, so once or twice a year I book a few days in London and drag my long suffering husband along and occasionally a good friend but obviously have to fit in with her commitments.
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Post by Phantom of London on May 14, 2017 18:55:04 GMT
However most of friends/co-workers wouldn't dream of going to the theatre, there attitude is something 'of a big gay musical'.
However it was funny describing to a couple of colleagues, the older then, that thinks Nigel Farage is amaIng what Angels in America was amount and seeing the grimace on their face. Things didn't improve when I went on to The Goat, Or Who is Sylvia.
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2017 19:17:25 GMT
However most of friends/co-workers wouldn't dream of going to the theatre, there attitude is something 'of a big gay musical'. However it was funny describing to a couple of colleagues, the older then, that thinks Nigel Farage is amaIng what Angels in America was amount and seeing the grimace on their face. Things didn't improve when I went on to The Goat, Or Who is Sylvia. haha I'm glad I'm not the only one who does that sort of things. My previous job was filled with Brexiters and narrowminded types of all sorts. So it was delightful to tell tales of what I'd been watching that weekend. Also great fun can be had with those types when you can have this conversation: 'Oh you have a PhD? what's it on?' 'AIDS' Then watch them either squirm a bit and say 'oh' and walk off. Attempt to ask an awkward question, or make an inappropriate remark (which I then cut down)
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Post by Phantom of London on May 14, 2017 19:39:57 GMT
However most of friends/co-workers wouldn't dream of going to the theatre, there attitude is something 'of a big gay musical'. However it was funny describing to a couple of colleagues, the older then, that thinks Nigel Farage is amaIng what Angels in America was amount and seeing the grimace on their face. Things didn't improve when I went on to The Goat, Or Who is Sylvia. haha I'm glad I'm not the only one who does that sort of things. My previous job was filled with Brexiters and narrowminded types of all sorts. So it was delightful to tell tales of what I'd been watching that weekend. Also great fun can be had with those types when you can have this conversation: 'Oh you have a PhD? what's it on?' 'AIDS' Then watch them either squirm a bit and say 'oh' and walk off. Attempt to ask an awkward question, or make an inappropriate remark (which I then cut down) Your bang on my humour wavelength here, of course I do it on purpose, to watch them squirm, needless to say I wouldn't bother describing Carousel or 42nd Street. A couple of the comments afterwards would be best described as homophobic, which I won't repeat on here, but kind of hilarious, especially one who said but who is Sylvia!!!
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Post by sam22 on May 14, 2017 19:47:25 GMT
This is a really interesting thread. When I lived in London I ended up going to see nearly every show on my own for the various reasons other posters have said i.e. easier to organise, could see what I wanted, not having to hope friend liked it. Even when a show was sold out or the hot ticket I would still manage to get just one ticket.
Does anyone find it different outside of London though? I haven't been solo to my local theatre and I feel like I would stand out if I did. Part perhaps as I think I may bump into someone I know and be embarrassed but also they tend to have all the big jukebox shows or tours which I'm either not interested in or have already seen
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Post by sam22 on May 14, 2017 19:51:44 GMT
Plus imagine my fear of being featured in the bad behaviour thread. Went to see play with a friend and she got out a huge bar of chocolate during a serious part of show and started rustling. I shushed her and she laughed...but then carried on. It was so loud two people in front turned around. Mortified!
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2017 20:42:10 GMT
I don't think it's been mentioned before but there's a difference going solo as a woman and as a man. Even in 2017 a woman on her own is much more likely to be approached by someone with a cheesey line, an offer of a drink, a compliment or a pretend question to initiate conversation. This happens even when reading, on the phone, listening to music, or standing behind a 10 foot electrified fence with Keep Out written on it. I think that can put some people off in addition to any other issues
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Post by Peach on May 14, 2017 22:02:41 GMT
I don't think it's been mentioned before but there's a difference going solo as a woman and as a man. Even in 2017 a woman on her own is much more likely to be approached by someone with a cheesey line, an offer of a drink, a compliment or a pretend question to initiate conversation. This happens even when reading, on the phone, listening to music, or standing behind a 10 foot electrified fence with Keep Out written on it. I think that can put some people off in addition to any other issues Speaking for my own experience, I've never been approached in any way like this and I eat in restaurants, go to theatre/cinema and stay in hotels by myself all the time. Some people perceive it as slightly odd if you go places alone though. They think I'm a 'no mates' who can't get anyone to go along and I think they are missing out on so much because of the unecessary constraints they place on their lives!
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Post by longinthetooth on May 14, 2017 22:46:23 GMT
As a somewhat mature woman, I have never batted an eyelid at going to the theatre alone. As so many have already said, in almost every way I prefer it. I can choose what I want, go when I want (either booking up months in advance or spontaneously deciding to dayseat) and plan the day around it.
However, when I was younger (several decades ago, it has to be said), I did encounter similar problems to pault - but never at the theatre. In the street, on the Tube, and as for the cinema (remind me to tell you about the dirty old man with the raincoat).... But as I grew older, this stopped, and I realised it was all to do with confidence - when I looked and felt nervous, that's when I was accosted. As the confidence grew, the unwanted pestering stopped. Now, of course, I am too old to warrant anything in that line - although I concede that restaurants can be a bit of a problem. Coffee shops and sandwich bars are fine, but I don't like going into a restaurant solo (this probably goes back again to when I was young, and sat for what seemed like hours trying to get the waiter's attention while all around me people got served). As for hotels, if I know the hotel, I would stay in it alone, but I'm not so sure I would if it was a first time visit. Just my thoughts.
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Post by viserys on May 15, 2017 5:23:14 GMT
I don't think it's been mentioned before but there's a difference going solo as a woman and as a man. Even in 2017 a woman on her own is much more likely to be approached by someone with a cheesey line, an offer of a drink, a compliment or a pretend question to initiate conversation. This happens even when reading, on the phone, listening to music, or standing behind a 10 foot electrified fence with Keep Out written on it. I think that can put some people off in addition to any other issues I never had this problem in London. In fact I have only been approached by someone annoying once while waiting for a friend in front of the Palace Theatre (not for a show, simply because it was a convenient meeting point). I didn't know how to shake him off politely, but luckily my friend turned up a few minutes later and since he's a good-looking fella, I made a show of greeting him with a hug and happy smiles to make a point, before walking off with him. Maybe I'm too old or it's my resting bitch face. As for being judged for being solo, in my experience the judging usually comes from clingy needy females who can't imagine doing anything without a man by their side, so if I get a sense of being judged, I simply silently judge back these days and feel sorry for them as they seem to be so dependant on someone else. However, I agree that while theatre and cinema are fine (sitting alone in a dark room) it feels a bit weird at live concert gigs and I don't go to those either on my own. Probably because it seems those are more about having a good time with friends, standing in small groups in front of the stage, etc. than actually being there for just the music.
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Post by shady23 on May 15, 2017 7:42:48 GMT
90% of the time i go alone. That said, i still don't feel 100% comfortable about it becuase I was thinking about this yesterday when i was in the theatre and started wondering if anyone around me was wondering or finding it a little odd that i was on my own. Because after all these years of going on my own i can't believe that it still obviously sometimes crosses my mind or bothers me. It's silly really. I'm going alone to The Colour Purple on Sunday evening. Actually thinking about it i think that it's more those types events it creeps in. I remember going to see a singer at the Palladium last year and i think gigs or concerts feel a little bit more exposing for a solo visit than a theatre performance. Maybe that's just me. Not alone in that- I feel weirdly weird going to gigs/concerts alone. I'd be ok at a sit-down concert somewhere like the Albert Hall or something classical/musical ish I think but it still feels a bit odd. I tried going to a 'proper' gig alone once but found it so miserable/weird I came home before the band I'd come to see (it was only in a live music club not a big concert so hadn't spent lots of money) Things "up north" I tend to go with friends or family but in London I go to lots by myself. Mainly as others won't pay the prices for travel etc from the north and I like to have freedom to do my own thing around the theatre. Might sound selfish but I count every minute down in London as time to make the most of as much as possible and would rather grab a sandwich etc. If I was with others it would be hours in restaurants. Although if a show is announced which has a layout of "tables" it does fill be with dread and can often stop me going. I did be brave recently and went to Rachel Tuckers show at Zedel and ended up sharing a table with three lovely ladies, one who was, incredibly, from the same small northern town as me. Ended up having a really great evening.
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Post by Deleted on May 15, 2017 7:52:33 GMT
I've never had the unwanted approach issue at the theatre- perhaps because 'that' type of guy either isn't at the theatre? I'm thinking the type of show I go to alone are the more fringe/arty types so any blokes, there alone or otherwise are there for the same reason I am. BUT the usual 'woman alone' issues with walking to/from an out of the way venue/being in the surrounding area beforehand do I admit play on my mind- how far from the bus stop/tube/station/car is it, what's in between, are there people about. The usual.
I actually had one of the most polite 'that's how it's done' encounters with a bloke outside a theatre. I was waiting for a friend outside the Victoria Palace for want of a better landmark in roadworks city. Young man approaches, stops, says 'Excuse me' I look up he says 'Just wanted to say you look very nice today.' I said thank you, he said something like 'are you going to the theatre?' I said 'no waiting for a friend' he said something like 'I hope you have fun' and went on with his day. It's always weird for women to be approached out of the blue, but it's not the case you CAN'T compliment a woman at random- I had a big smile on my face and a nice encounter while waiting for a friend, and everyone went on with their day!
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Post by bee on May 15, 2017 10:17:23 GMT
I pretty much always go alone these days. I’m not sure I prefer it as such, it’s more a result of my circle of friends not really having an interest in theatre, and as others have said it’s much easier to organise when you’re only trying to please yourself and fit it around your own schedule.
I go to quite a few gigs and I have a mate that I go to most of these with, but if there’s a band that I want to see and he’s not interested I’ll go on my own. I sometimes feel a bit out-of-place if it’s a new band with a young fan base but I generally find if you stand at the back of the hall you’ll see other older folks hanging around there sheepishly.
The only time I’ve really been nervous about going was similar to shady23’s Zedel example, it was at a jazz club and had the table and chairs format, but it turned out fine, they actually had two or three “solo” tables and stuck me on one of those.
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Post by HereForTheatre on May 15, 2017 10:22:25 GMT
I remember at the Jeremy Jordan concert at the Hippodrome Casino i specifically got balcony seats as i thought that it would be cabaret style on the floor and didn't want to be on a table on my own with a load of people i didn't know, i felt awkward about it. Turned out that it wasn't Caberet style at all and theatre style so could have chosen those seats after all. Plus i wish i did, because the balcony felt very detached. Oh well.
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Post by PalelyLaura on May 15, 2017 12:30:21 GMT
I go to the theatre by myself most of the time, for the reasons listed above. I also go to gigs on my own without batting an eyelid. I've seen Beyonce, Pink, Kelly Clarkson and Florence & The Machine by myself (please don't judge my musical taste :-P). Admittedly I think I would have enjoyed them even more in a group, but my friends don't like the same singers I like and I'm not prepared to miss out just because I have no one to go with. Anyway, once you've had a few drinks you don't care!
I do a lot of things by myself, I've been on holiday by myself a few times. The only thing I'm not really comfortable with doing alone is eating in a restaurant.
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Post by viserys on May 15, 2017 12:43:11 GMT
I do a lot of things by myself, I've been on holiday by myself a few times. The only thing I'm not really comfortable with doing alone is eating in a restaurant. I love going on holiday by myself! As for restaurants, it depends on where and what. I wouldn't go to fancy restaurants alone and in London generally stick to places like Pret a manger or at most something like Wagamama and Itsu. However, I find that it helps to have a book/Kindle with me to pass the time between ordering and the arrival of food. One of my best experiences of dining alone was in Venice. I had spontaneously booked a cheapish ticket to the La Fenice opera and dressed up a bit for that. There was a upmarket eatery basically next door with nice open air seating so I decided to eat there instead of hunting something cheapish elsewhere. The Italian waiters were so charming and kind and fussy around me as a single lady, I felt like a star for an hour and not like some unloved Jane No-Mates in a corner.
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Post by Steffi on May 15, 2017 13:00:23 GMT
I go to the theatre on my own. I go on holidays on my own. I go to the cinema on my own. I go to fitness classes on my own. I eat in restaurants on my own.
I'm not a loner but when I want to do something I often just can't be bothered to start asking around if anyone wants to come along (and happens to be free at the exact same time as I am). Yes, I love doing stuff with friends but I would never miss out on anything just because I have no one to join me.
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Post by anita on May 15, 2017 13:04:18 GMT
Have missed too many shows in the past I wanted to see before I decided to say **** that & started going by myself in the 80s.
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Post by Deleted on May 15, 2017 13:18:03 GMT
I can eat alone in a restaurant, but it very much depends on what my anxiety levels are doing that day. Theatre or cinema on my own is fine, 'cos once I've picked up my ticket I don't have to interact with anyone beyond a possible "excuse me, please" on my way to my seat. Restaurants, though,...I know in my head that they don't really care that I'm alone as long as I don't start crying (or giving any other indicator that I'm alone because I've been stood up and am upset about it), but there are days when I just can't quite handle requesting a table, placing an order, asking for a bill, etc. Fast food joints are a godsend on days like that, especially now you can order a McDonald's through a computer terminal.
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Post by Peach on May 15, 2017 13:21:31 GMT
Just curious, what is it about going to restaurants alone that bothers people?
I do it often. Most restaurants can squeeze in a single person, servers are generally really friendly and there are no splitting the bill arguments!
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Post by Elisa on May 15, 2017 13:46:20 GMT
I often go alone to the cinema, museums, galleries, events in general. I don't usually eat out on my own in my town simply because I don't need to, but I've no problem at doing that when I'm away from home. I also travel alone. I usually ask friends, but if nobody is avalable, I'll go on my own.
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