Artisan

My least favourite word is the over- and often mis-used of “curated”.

As in Lena Dunham curated a reading list.

I share that dislike hal9000 (though I wouldn't say it is my least favourite word as that title is reserved for the over-use of "like"). If you are organising an exhibition at a museum then you are curating it, if you are organising almost anything else then you are not.

A bog standard looking dry cleaners but based in Walthamstow, so therefore it is artisan ...

Dictionary definition:

Artisan - An item or service with an inflated price.

My pet hate is 'Designer', when used to make something sound special.
Even the cheapest chain store suit had to be designed at some stage.
And 'Architect Designed' homes? Isn't that what architects do?

Or 'hand-made' - the cheapest imported stuff from China and Malaysia is hand-made, too - because labour is cheap. 

Though if 'architect designed' means you actually get the architect to design something you want, rather than picking from one of the three designs the housebuilder uses to maximise the number of bedrooms bedroom and squeeze in an en-suite at the expensive of sensible storage space, so they can inflate the price, then it would be worthwhile.

Well I’ve just crunched through my toasted artisanal whole grain bloomer with ancient seeds, lightly spread with hand-churned artisanal butter with sea salt crystals. My fig jam... sorry “conserve” was hand boiled by a little old woman in a mob cap and a authentic grubby pinny wielding a wooden spoon crafted from sustainable pine. For dinner it’s chicken. Not just any chicken but free-to-roam-and-make-friends Poulet (serves one) from an artisan farmer called Pablo. This bird has so much provenance it comes with a name badge and a better CV than me for just £11.99.

I blame markets. It started with farmers markets (Borough Market might be the original culprit) and people selling overpriced gourmet burgers. This has now spread north and any old hipster can set up a stall selling overpriced rubbish. I went to one in Manc recently and this bloke was selling bits of log cut into slabs and with a hole bored out of it to accommodate a tealight. Ten quid thank you. It was LITERALLY a bit of old log with a hole in it.

I’m in the wrong business 😐

Was he, by any chance, wearing a hi-vis with Amey across the back? Olive Grove must be overwhelmed with logs from healthy street trees!

“Bespoke”

🙄

That would be heritage sun blush tomatoes please and thank you!

Not quite the same thing, but I feel awkward whenever I buy "sea salt" flavoured crisps because the whole concept of sea salt is pretentious as hell. Salt is salt. If it came directly from the sea instead of going through intermediate stages of drying out and being mined that just means it's more likely to have decayed fish turds in it. Yum.