The Weinstein effect

The phrase 'I am bisexual' would do nicely in that instance. Because it's really not the point in this case but that also contributes to erasure of bisexual identity. You don't stop being bi if you are in a heterosexual relationship or a gay one you're still bi. 

So if Spacey is bi, he's bi. If he's gay, he's gay. Either way the use of 'choice' is disrespectful. But the whole using 'coming out' to deflect the allegations is all disgusting anyway. 

Also, are you (HG)... are you trying to deflect the conversation away from the real news, which is that a much-whispered-about man has been thoroughly accused by a source with all apparent reputability of sexually predatory behaviour, by getting bogged down by the ins and outs of discussing Spacey's sexuality instead? THAT'S WHAT HE *WANTED*, YOU PATSY.

"But as Spacey's star began to rise through the 1990s and 2000s — including a Tony Award, two Oscars, a decadelong run as the creative director of the Old Vic theater in London, and six seasons and counting on the hit Netflix series House of Cards — Rapp's frustration, anger with him grew as well."

If someone's career is in any way a trigger to get frustrated, like it wouldn't have grown had he been a nobody, there is more going on than just the incident.

Also, wouldn't it be more classy to give Kevin a phone call and ask him in person why he has done this terrbible thing that has upset him for all these years and what he himself has to say about it, instead of doing this in a public tweet/press release?

We are talking about a single drunk incident more than 30 years ago here. He could have asked him about it for all these years.

I think Spacey's statement makes it worse. Now his "coming out" statement will forever be linked with approaching a minor. I think it would have been better for him if he handled both things separately.

Spacey has been handling young men for years, it would have been better for him if he hadn't.

Yeah, why doesn't he just give his alleged sexual assaulter a ring for a chat? Maybe ask him round for some tea and cake? You clearly haven't read the article which emicardiff posted - I strongly recommend you do, though I doubt it would make much of a difference to your way of thinking. A highly public interview at this moment in time was obviously the best way for Rapp to get his voice heard. If you think for one second that Spacey deserves some sort of privacy or private moment to deal with the allegations then that is seriously worrying. He deserves nothing. Especially after his particularly harmful statement.

I hope and pray that you have not had to experience any unwanted sexual advances when you were a minor, because for you to be be giving tips to a victim on how they should be dealing with the pain, suffering and bottled emotions without any idea how it must feel to have to carry those feelings around with you for 3 decades is mind-boggling beyond belief and I almost think you might be trolling us all.

I would be very surprised if more stories like this don't come out. I can totally understand why Rapp didn't give Spacey a call. I never called any of those men who exposed themselves to me - but then I didn't have to watch them on tv all the time, so I could just imagine their sad pathetic lives as being a punishment for their actions - whether or not that was the case.

On an adjacent point: this is an excerpt from a Salon article discussing some issues that have come up in this thread:

'I also have friends who self-identify as "men's rights activists," insisting that men are persecuted as much or even more than women. Even among the male friends who don't align themselves entirely with the MRA movement, there are still many who subscribe to what I call the male victimization fallacy. They view themselves as victims, feel threatened when confronted with the fact that women face more systemic oppression than men (which is not to say that men don't suffer at all, just that our society is inherently patriarchal) and try to blur, diminish or outright deny feminist concerns in order to shore up their own status of victimhood.
Not coincidentally, these are usually the same men who claim that feminists just want to be victims. They do this by projecting their own assumption that victimhood is some kind of finite commodity — one they seek for themselves at the expense of others — and ignore that the term refers to real-life suffering and persecution.'

This is the whole article (the title isn't great, but there are some good points): www.salon.com/2017/10/29/listen-up-men-we-must-shun-our-sexist-friends/

One of the points he makes is how important it is for men to speak in a sensitive and nuanced way about what happens to women and to confront those who are misogynistic - and thank you to the many on this forum who do that.

What is disgusting is that people like Spacey are given posts like AD of The Old Vic

They are given positions of artistic responsibility

He is a truly pathetic person

I do wonder if there is an argument for some sort of chemical castration to be applied more widely

So many people cannot control themselves

It may be the way to go

On a slightly lighter note....I was on the tube the other day when a young man offered me his seat. Now, as I am old I was extremely touched by this - it is the first time it has happened, but it depressed me as well in that I must have looked terrible for him to offer!! For the record I did refuse - I can manage to stand for a few stops!!

That's very sweet. And yet, some people are even actually really intimidated by that. Beinig intimidated glides from a scale from 1 to a million and it differs for everyone, so erasing everything one can be intimidated by is impossible.

I have been in many situations where I chose not to be intimidated and handle things my own way. Even though some of the situations were not nice. Sometimes I did not get my way but realized I did not want to work with that person anyway, other times I weighed my choice and decided how far I was willing to go and made a choice, other times I said something there or later and other times I chose to get the person back in another way. That's life.