Dick Whittington, London Palladium 2017

Surely most people would realise that Julian Clary plus Dick Whittington means an evening of smutty innuendo wouldn't they? That would account for the wonderfully low number of children in the audience the night I went as it's clearly more one for the adults although the few children near me seemed to have a great time and much of  the innuendo passed them by.

Ironcially the line “dick is behind you” isn’t in it. I think the funniest dick lines come from Elaine Paige! Just brilliant. It’s the best panto I’ve ever seen.

Day seats £20 announced in person at the box office from 10.00am from this weekend.

Oh god, don't say that! With all the nervousness in the world at the minute, you'll make people nervous about going!

Oooo Emma, that outfit is... a choice.

Think that’s such a stupid article. The comment about the little boy being called “Tracey” is a joke that has been done in panto for years and always gets laughs. I doubt the kid will even know what’s happening. 
I also doubt it was homophobia, probably just how the sketch works. It’s not something to be looking into so deeply..
Paul did both these jokes last year. Hop it’s not exactly the same. He is hilarious but I hope they get a new comedian like Bradley Walsh for next year 

I don't think it was about the kid section - I think it was:

Don't take your kids, or expect a story, but as a Variety show, this is wonderful!

Some spoilers follow. . .

If you have any love for musical theatre and/or comedy, there is one song that is worth the price of a ticket alone: Julian Clary and Elaine Paige duetting on "We Love Dick so well," that much loved number from Chess! I know Paige gets a lot of hate, but not only is she game to absolutely skewer herself comedically, but our great old Dame of British musicals still has the voice to sing the parts she can, and the wisdom not to sing the higher notes she cannot. That is to say, there's enough musical greatness still there to feel the vibes of musical history, and enough self-lascerating comedy to make up for the completely natural loss of voice the aging process wreaks on all of us. I was enraptured by her.

And him. That wily old devil Julian Clary makes rudeness seem as natural and as effervescent as Ryan does, and that's a high compliment lol.

Just do NOT take your kids to this. Take them to Wimbledon (or your local equivalent) for a family show, but don't bring them here.

As for story, nope, there isn't one. A super-giant rat shows up at the beginning to suggest there may be an antagonist, but then all drama is forgotten, and it's one great variety act after another, with Nigel Havers "Please give me a part" humility competing for laughs with Gary Wilmot's camp, as Charlie Stemp and Emma Williams seem to stage a furious likeability contest that, frankly, was too close to call, both consummate musical theatre singers with immense toothy likeability. For her soaring voice, I'd actually give the final round to Williams, but I am already doubting my choice lol.

As for Paul Zerdin, yep, he does the same schtick as last year, but God help me, I had the most humiliating 5 minutes of my life when he dragged me onstage, put the Hannibal Lector style mask over my face, and made me say stuff to the equally dazed and confused woman, who had been sitting next to me, and was also heisted and hoisted into humiliation. Although I could only see about 5 rows of people, knowing there were 2000 people out there in the Palladium audience was beyond terrifying! He mocked my clothes, as well, either a reference to my lumberjack style checked shirt, or perhaps to the jumper clumsily tied around my waist, and forgotten there, in the sheer deer-caught-in-headlights panic of being dragged on stage.

Anyway, like I said, worth it for the Paige and Clary duet alone! Everything else is a bonus!

4 and a half stars.

PS: Watch out if, like me, you thought it was worth snagging the left side, Row A tickets, for the cheaper price. You are closest to the steps leading onto the stage, and could well be a victim too. If I remember rightly, the Monkey might have those seats. I hope I'm not the only Steve to suffer lol!

There is one VERY loud one stage left which is what you are hearing!

That one almost gave me heart attack! Hahaha.... BOOM

Why? Peasants.