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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2017 14:35:53 GMT
Continuing from Whats on Stages post earlier today... What are some of the funny comments you've overheard at the theatre?
Some Highlights they posted include:
- [At The Lion King] "When does Elton John come out?"
- "I am attending an audio described performance of Mamma Mia! – will I be able to see from those seats?"
- "How much is a complimentary ticket?"
- "Do these stairs go up?"
- A customer turned up to see Wicked during the interval because he thought that the first half was going to be the "support act". He demanded compensation for not being told and missing half the show…
- "What's on this evening?"
"Giselle"
"She's ill? What's the matter with her?"
- "Can I buy two tickets for Fanny of the Opera please?"
- "Is it really sold out?"
- "Would I be allowed to bring a spare pair of shoes as the ones I'll be wearing will be painful by the end of the night."
- "Our pet parrot just loves musicals so can we bring her along to Les Miserables? She is house-trained and knows all the words! We're happy to buy a ticket for her."
The Wicked story made me laugh, and Giselle.
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Post by Backdrifter on Sept 21, 2017 15:11:33 GMT
Danton's Death at the NT, whenever that was. Near the end there's a series of guillotinings. As the 3rd or 4th head toppled into the basket, a man behind us leaned in to his companion and stage-whispered knowledgeably, "False heads." I'm sure his companion was as relieved as we were.
Also at the NT, Peter Hall giving a talk about preparing actors for Shakespeare performances. A few seats away, a man in his 40s was augmenting Sir Peter's discourse by mercilessly tutoring his teenage child, adding in his own loudly whispered explanations and expansions of everything Hall was saying. Hall described pentameter, giving as an example the opening line of Merchant, emphasising with his hand the beats, "In sooth, I know not why I am so sad". The father nodded in time with a knowing smile and his eyes shut tight, then (still with his eyes closed) whispered to the stricken-looking boy, "Yes, that is correct."
You know, just in case the boy might have thought Sir Peter Hall got it wrong.
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2017 15:15:58 GMT
I doubt if any of these were genuinely overheard but if they were, what does it say about theatre-goers these days?  |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2017 15:20:26 GMT
The stairs one wouldn't surprise me. I'm sure the person meant it more along the lines of "will these stairs take me where I need to go?" though, and just phrased it awkwardly. I used to work in a shop with a lift and was often asked "does this lift go up?", and it's a miracle I never told anyone no, it only goes down, and you shouldn't step foot in the lift at all if you're not willing to commit to living in the basement forever.
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Post by Jon on Sept 21, 2017 15:23:36 GMT
I doubt if any of these were genuinely overheard but if they were, what does it say about theatre-goers these days? Never underestimate people's stupidity! I do wonder if some of these fail to do their research or more likely leave their brain at home |
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Post by Honoured Guest on Sept 21, 2017 15:36:23 GMT
True Story - Edinburgh International Festival - an elderly Scottish woman, to her friend, at the interval of a performance by the Mark Morris Dance Group: "Well I do nae think much to that... And they have nae even done any morris dancing yet."
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Post by Honoured Guest on Sept 21, 2017 15:39:30 GMT
- "Is it really sold out?" - Good Question |
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2017 15:41:38 GMT
Oh, I don't...  I really don't. But there's a touch of the Confessions of... about them. And I never believe them either. |
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Post by glossie on Sept 21, 2017 15:50:00 GMT
Overheard by me at the Pitman Painters in Malvern:
Man to female companion, as he was reading the programme -
"Ah, I see the author is from Newcastle-upon-Tyne...oh, but he went to Cambridge so he is educated".
And at Cheltenham Everyman - small local theatre, really easy to find your way around:
Couple walking up and down the side aisle -
"Ummm...Row S, where's that?"
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Post by bimse on Sept 21, 2017 16:25:45 GMT
Many years ago my late Aunt and her friend were in Morecambe and decided to see the variety show starring the late Ronne Coyles. They obviously only glanced at the posters and/or programme, or just didn't read them properly, but I distinctly remember them returning home still complaining that the star of the show didn't look like Ronnie Corbett, or sound like him , in fact they seriously doubted it WAS Ronnie Corbett , should have complained .....
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Post by Backdrifter on Sept 21, 2017 16:33:14 GMT
Many years ago my late Aunt and her friend were in Morecambe and decided to see the variety show starring the late Ronne Coyles. They obviously only glanced at the posters and/or programme, or just didn't read them properly, but I distinctly remember them returning home still complaining that the star of the show didn't look like Ronnie Corbett, or sound like him , in fact they seriously doubted it WAS Ronnie Corbett , should have complained ..... At risk of taking us off topic, this has made me think of a story Peggy Mount once told on TV in an interview. She played a character who died in an episode of Casualty. She was touring An Evening With Peggy Mount show at the time, and some theatre BOs told her people were turning up and asking for refunds, because "we saw her on TV the other night and she's died." |
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Post by richey on Sept 21, 2017 18:03:36 GMT
Woman at booth next to me at Manchester Opera House box office last week
"I've come to pick up the tickets my husband booked. He would do it himself but he's just coming up the rear..."
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Post by Deleted on Sept 21, 2017 18:13:55 GMT
Danton's Death at the NT, whenever that was. Near the end there's a series of guillotinings. As the 3rd or 4th head toppled into the basket, a man behind us leaned in to his companion and stage-whispered knowledgeably, "False heads." I'm sure his companion was as relieved as we were. "False heads!" Haha. |
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Post by londonmzfitz on Sept 21, 2017 19:31:26 GMT
I did post this at the time, but on my way home from Kinky Boots about 18 months ago and walking through the Charing Cross station underground maze I saw a young couple in front of me stop next to a huge promo poster of Kinky Boots Angels, the guy said "which one was Cyndi Lauper"?
Also passed the merchandise counter in the interval of Phantom of the Opera with the lad behind the counter saying to a Japanese couple "you do know the show isn't over yet?"?
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Post by tonyloco on Sept 21, 2017 20:22:44 GMT
Back in the 1960s, I was at the Salzburg Summer Festival in the lobby of the Grosses Festspielhaus surrounded by huge posters and display boards announcing: "GEORGE BALANCHINE'S New York City Ballet" waiting in the small queue at the box office when the very dapper-looking man ahead of me said to the woman an duty:
'I'd like to leave some tickets for tonight to be collected by some friends.'
'Yes' said the box-office lady. 'What is your name?'
'Balanchine' said the dapper man.
'Could you spell that please?'
'B A L A N C H I N E' he said wearily.
I suppose had he been Herbert von Karajan she might have known who he was.
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Post by Honoured Guest on Sept 21, 2017 21:15:21 GMT
I remember an NT sales clerk telling their story of working at the Lyttelton ticket desk when Laurence Olivier came to collect his tickets.
SALES CLERK: Name, please.
LORD OLIVIER: Olivier.
SALES CLERK: This is the Lyttelton desk. You need to go to the Olivier Theatre desk which is ...
LORD OLIVIER: I have booked tickets for the Lyttelton theatre.
SALES CLERK: Well, you said Olivier. What name is it, please?
LORD OLIVIER: My name is Olivier.
SALES CLERK: (Looks up. Turns a funny colour. Hastily finds tickets)
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Post by longinthetooth on Sept 21, 2017 21:34:38 GMT
Ah, the false heads. Reminds me of a visit to Les Mis, when a man me behind asked, "I wonder where they will put the guillotine?!
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Post by sam22 on Sept 21, 2017 21:42:39 GMT
Not overheard as such but when we went to see Les Mis two foreign tourists were in our seats. They spoke very little English but I looked at their tickets with them and it turned out they were in the right seats but at the wrong theatre: they were meant to be seeing Daniel Radcliffe down the road in Equus! You'd think with the signage and merchandise they'd have twigged but obviously got past the ushers too.
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Post by SageStageMgr on Sept 21, 2017 21:53:29 GMT
Danton's Death at the NT, whenever that was. Near the end there's a series of guillotinings. As the 3rd or 4th head toppled into the basket, a man behind us leaned in to his companion and stage-whispered knowledgeably, "False heads." I'm sure his companion was as relieved as we were. "False heads!" Haha. That's the one that got me giggling too. I can just see the guy now - the penny drops, he realises and instantly says it, thinking he's spotted something special. The problem is with people like that, is that they move straight onto the next "announcement" and never think about what they've actually just said! |
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Post by SageStageMgr on Sept 21, 2017 21:54:34 GMT
Back in the 1960s, I was at the Salzburg Summer Festival in the lobby of the Grosses Festspielhaus surrounded by huge posters and display boards announcing: "GEORGE BALANCHINE'S New York City Ballet" waiting in the small queue at the box office when the very dapper-looking man ahead of me said to the woman an duty: 'I'd like to leave some tickets for tonight to be collected by some friends.' 'Yes' said the box-office lady. 'What is your name?' 'Balanchine' said the dapper man. 'Could you spell that please?' 'B A L A N C H I N E' he said wearily. I suppose had he been Herbert von Karajan she might have known who he was. "Yes... my name is J R Hartley..." |
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Post by SageStageMgr on Sept 21, 2017 21:56:16 GMT
Ah, the false heads. Reminds me of a visit to Les Mis, when a man me behind asked, "I wonder where they will put the guillotine?! That's wittier more than stupid - bloody good points. Most of the survivors would've been put in front of a kangaroo court and guillotined, the rest imprisoned for life for treason. |
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Post by SageStageMgr on Sept 21, 2017 21:59:11 GMT
Audible gasps of shock tonight from more than one (adult) person tonight at The Phantom of the Opera, when the Phantom is "revealed" to be impersonating Piangi at the end of "Point of No Return".
The fact that he'd lost at least five stone, grown 6 inches in height and sounded nothing like the actor playing Piangi obviously flew past their heads.
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Post by infofreako on Sept 22, 2017 0:19:47 GMT
I think Is it really sold out is a valid question. I've knpwn places put the sold out board up because they have a lomited number of single seats, not to mention that you could turn up and get lucky with returns
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Post by The Matthew on Sept 22, 2017 4:57:12 GMT
I remember being in the foyer of the New London when a couple walked in past all the Cats logos on the outside of the theatre, all the Cats signs on the doors, all the Cats posters in the foyer showing people dressed as cats, up to the box office desk with its Cats banner, to ask if this was where Miss Saigon was playing.
I can only assume that they thought Miss Saigon had a heavy feline element and the show wanted to push it to bring in the cat lovers.
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Post by richey on Sept 22, 2017 5:52:41 GMT
If we're going with wrong theatre stories, first time I saw Wicked there was a kerfuffle over a couple sat in someone's seats. They were adamant they had the right ones and it turned out they did...just in the wrong theatre. They should have been in the opera at Covent Garden.
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Post by mosiemo on Sept 22, 2017 9:19:59 GMT
A few years back watching Spamalot, two couples in their 70's sit in the row behind us, one of the men in a loud voice says 'of course I last saw Camelot with Burton years ago, so I'm intrigued by this updated production'. At the interval he said 'well, this is quite possibly the silliest thing I've ever seen......isn't it fun?'
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Post by Dawnstar on Sept 22, 2017 20:06:15 GMT
Audible gasps of shock tonight from more than one (adult) person tonight at The Phantom of the Opera, when the Phantom is "revealed" to be impersonating Piangi at the end of "Point of No Return". The fact that he'd lost at least five stone, grown 6 inches in height and sounded nothing like the actor playing Piangi obviously flew past their heads. I can never understand why Piangi is costumed in that massive padded doublet in Point of No Return, therefore making it incredibly obvious as soon as the Phantom appears that it's not the same man under the cloak. It makes Christine look like a total idiot for not realising for several minutes that it's the Phantom. |
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Post by ctas on Sept 22, 2017 20:22:48 GMT
Interval of Cabaret in the previous tour I heard someone muse out loud, "I'm not sure where they're going with the plot about the old Jewish man." Awkward.
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Post by theglenbucklaird on Sept 22, 2017 20:26:27 GMT
'I overheard someone saying I used to go to school with a Timberlake Wertenbaker, I wonder if it is the same one?. And they say theatre attracts an educated audience'
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Post by Jon on Sept 22, 2017 20:49:10 GMT
If we're going with wrong theatre stories, first time I saw Wicked there was a kerfuffle over a couple sat in someone's seats. They were adamant they had the right ones and it turned out they did...just in the wrong theatre. They should have been in the opera at Covent Garden. You'd think the marquee blazened with the name of the show would be the obvious clue. Do people not check their tickets which usually has the address of the theatre and even if they don't, a quick map search will do it. |
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I really don't.
