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Post by Deleted on May 15, 2016 18:55:50 GMT
I think the best way to deal with the phlegm incident would be to pretend to wipe some off your shoulder while turning round and glaring at someone in the row behind you
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170 posts
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Post by jess173 on May 15, 2016 22:26:33 GMT
Many years ago I had tickets to see Wicked. Before the show we did some sightseeing and I wanted to take some pictures of the Tower. It was already dark outside and while I was busy looking at my camera I walked straight into one of those stone benches in front of it. I badly bruised my knee but there was no way I was going to see a doctor and miss the show...  I sat through the show and my knee kept swelling. When I got to the hotel I could hardly put down my pants. I went to the doctor the next day. The knee was twice its original size and deep blue but nothing was fractured... Thank god... ^^ And one time I was at Joseph in the Netherlands. I was sitting front row and my phone started ringing. I did not realise that it was my phone because I was 100% positive that I had put it on silent mode before the show. This was actually true. But if you set your phone on silent mode it doesn't mean the alarm is put on silent mode as well. It was in fact my phone and an alarm I had set the day before, accidentally putting it on repeat. It took me probably more than a minute to realise that. The cast and several audience members gave me mean looks. It was so embarrassing... |
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Post by hitmewithurbethshot on May 15, 2016 23:21:07 GMT
About 4-5 days before I had a week booked in London seeing shows last September (mostly dayseating), I had an awful fall off my bike which scraped up my knee and thus gave me a nice limp for my entire trip. I foolishly planned my trip so I'd have only an hour or two window to get to my hostel (in Tottenham!), drop off my suitcase, take the train back to central London and get to the Savoy to see the evening performance of Gypsy. What I didn't take into account was a) my new speed handicap, b) the hostel was right next to the Tottenham Hotspurs' stadium and c) I was arriving on a match day. Long story short, I ended up resorting to £10 for a rickshaw to the theatre as soon as I got out of the tube station and still arrived 10-15 minutes late for the show, very sweaty and flustered.
The show itself wasn't the bad experience (though I admit I did have some difficulty seeing what all the fuss was about), just the lead-up and the getting there!
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Post by westendcub on May 16, 2016 12:32:31 GMT
As we are sharing,
Last year after work I walked from Barbican to the National.
Now I had just had a cold and it was a lovely cold evening, I arrived at the theatre and picked up my ticket for 'Treasure Island' (dreadful) and was walking up on the stairs and needed to sneeze, as I put the tissue to my nose I realised I was about to have a nosebleed and rushed to the loo. It seemed to go on for ages and I literally had about 2 mins till the performance time, get my seat a little mortified and parnoid it could happen again.
The show was running late, and a lady piped on a conversation next to me. I was too little in my world and paniced to not really want to engage in a conversation so I must of looked rather rude so of muttering back. Luckily it was just a random one off nosebleed brought up from just getting over a cold and prob the cold temperature outside - the woman next to me must of thought I had left but I had seen in the stalls 9 empty rows so went down there for act 2.
Terrible play but won't forget those few minutes before the show in a hurry!!
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Post by partytentdown on May 16, 2016 12:38:23 GMT
Viva Forever
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Post by Deleted on May 16, 2016 12:40:21 GMT
I've had nosebleeds at the theatre before. I almost always have tissues in my bag so it's a simple enough matter of plugging the flow then discreetly sorting myself out at the interval, apart from one time when I had no tissues and was coincidentally sat next to friends of my parents. They were completely horrified (though very sympathetic) when the interval came and they saw my blood-streaked face sheepishly trying to get past them to rush to the loo. It's a particular problem in winter for me.
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Post by vickster51 on May 16, 2016 12:53:30 GMT
Hmmm well the first one that springs to my mind and one that really did upset me for a while afterwards was at a performance of King Lear at the NT with Simon Russell Beale.
I was in row C centre stalls, so very close and directly behind me was an elderly gentleman who in every scene made a comment to his wife/partner. He didn't try to speak quietly, normal voice. It was so frustrating and I dread to think what the actors thought. I'd made up my mind to politely say something in the interval. As I'd stood up and turned, trying to think how to phrase it, I was clearly staring at them. The lady in the couple next to them, clearly not with them and slightly younger, asked me quite rudely what I was looking at. So I simply said, addressing her and the man, that his talking was loud, quite rude and very distracting. Before he could say anything, this woman proceeded to tell me off by rudely saying "Distracting, he certainly isn't being distracting. Don't be so ridiculous and you should learn some respect for those older than you.! It may not be word for word but that was the gist. As someone over 30, I think I'm fully entitled to give my view and being dressed down with the respect your elders line infuriated me.
It made me feel quite upset and did make me feel uncomfortable for the second half.
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Post by partytentdown on May 16, 2016 13:38:08 GMT
Oh I've got one that makes me cringe to this day. I was watching a musical and some people a few rows behind were making a lot of noise - they sounded like they were having a drunken argument. At one point I turned round and aggressively shushed them, surprised that nobody else had.
In the interval I stormed past the area where they were sitting, and noticed they were a small group of people with mental health issues (apologies if I am not using the correct terminology) who obviously did not realise they were causing a disturbance with their involuntary noises. I was distraught and discreetly apologised to the leader of the group, who was very understanding. I felt so bad!
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Post by d'James on May 16, 2016 14:21:51 GMT
Oh I've got one that makes me cringe to this day. I was watching a musical and some people a few rows behind were making a lot of noise - they sounded like they were having a drunken argument. At one point I turned round and aggressively shushed them, surprised that nobody else had. In the interval I stormed past the area where they were sitting, and noticed they were a small group of people with mental health issues (apologies if I am not using the correct terminology) who obviously did not realise they were causing a disturbance with their involuntary noises. I was distraught and discreetly apologised to the leader of the group, who was very understanding. I felt so bad! I don't think you should feel bad. It's wholly understandable AND you had the guts to apologise which most people wouldn't. |
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Post by Deleted on May 16, 2016 14:24:22 GMT
Yup, everyone makes mistakes, but not everyone will own up to them. Good on you.
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Post by missmelon on May 16, 2016 15:00:41 GMT
Finding out the station we wanted to get off at was closed so having to wait to the next station, and then having a 20 minute walk to get to the theatre, with only 12 minutes until the performance! Somehow we managed it in 7, though we were absolutely knackered afterwards! Also, not a bad thing particularly just rather amusing, went to our local theatre a few years back with some friends to see Shakespeare play we were studying in English A-Level. The guys behind us kept talking, and my friend got her phone out and wrote on there a message asking them to be quiet. She leaned back to show it to them, but they thought she was passing back a phone one of them had dropped! Ended up being passed down to their friend before we managed to tell them what was going on haha! I just stick with the standard glare at people  |
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Post by foxa on May 16, 2016 16:31:37 GMT
When I was much younger I convinced a group of friends that it would be worth seeing a production of 'The Yorkshire Tragedy' out at a fringe theatre that I didn't really know. We had seats in the front row. It quickly became apparent that although it was a labour of love the company had bitten off more than they could chew and scene after scene was awkwardly bad, a bit like something out of the Art of Coarse acting - culminating with a scene where a child actor died announcing loudly 'You have now killed me - I used to be your white boy but now I am your red boy.' Then he keeled over. I'd been fighting off giggles (biting the inside of my cheek, pinching my hands) for some time, but at this I felt a horrible rising tide of hysteria. My shoulders began to heave and our whole row began to shake. I met eyes with one of my companions and we dashed out the door... Only to find ourselves surrounded by a half dozen of the actors - all in full 17th century costumes - waiting to make an entrance, sweetly telling us that they didn't mind if we went back in. We couldn't speak and ran out.
On the tube ride home I felt physically ill and to this day, I still feel horrible about it. I've never done anything like that since. I think I am very well behaved - mainly.
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Post by duncan on May 16, 2016 17:03:30 GMT
Nothing as really awkward as most people here but I was sat next to an old lady, must have been at least 80, at Top Hat who insisted on singing ALL of the songs.
I had a bad does of the skitters at Of Mice and Men the other week that thanfully stopped about 5 minutes before curtain up - the staff were inviting everyone to move forward but I was left sitting on the end of a row close to the exit at the back, just in case!!
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Post by Flim Flam on May 16, 2016 17:54:10 GMT
I'm with you on that one Foxa. Many years ago a friend and I were inveigled into attending an am dram version of Henry V in which a mutual friend was acting.
It turned out that said friend was playing one of the French court and suddenly lurched onto stage in bright green stripey tights. He was a very tall, very skinny chap (and as I'm writing this I am hoping- not a current member of Theatreboard...).
In this outfit (full doublet and hose and a daft hat of course, none of your trendy skinny jeans) he looked very much like a giant stork. In my defence I would like to mention that my partner in crime started giggling before I did, but that was probably because I mentioned the stork likeness to her. Admittedly we had been to the pub for a swift drink before the start, so no doubt that didn't help. After that it was the full giggling, shoulders shaking, crying, being glared at by others etc, cycle of indignity.
We were sitting right in the middle of the audience, so could not escape until the interval. We did not return...but instead stood out on the pavement howling with laughter. Even worse, we had to hang around until the end, pretend we had seen the whole thing, and then congratulate our friend on his performance. He seemed none the wiser, thankfully.
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Post by Deleted on May 16, 2016 18:54:02 GMT
Yes, the uncontrollable and extremely rude giggles have happened to me too.
Amdram production of Oklahoma many years ago at the Harlow theatre. The dream dance sequence: young lady who could obviously dance but was somewhat heavier than any professional dancer would be.
All OK until it came to a lift - perhaps it was mis-timed or he just lost his balance, but for whatever reason the male dancer staggered and I could clearly see his arms shaking and the alarm on this face as she went into the air. He just managed to do it but too late for me as I had already lost it -streaming tears and all.
Felt terrible afterwards. Last am dram I went to.
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Post by loureviews on May 16, 2016 19:40:27 GMT
Sleeping Beauty, Russian ballet company, Bradford St George's Hall. Front row.
Prince hops on in pink tights. Entire row gets the giggles. He did have a rather eyewatering box.
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Post by joem on May 16, 2016 19:50:55 GMT
I think the point of the original post is probably different to the long-running "bad behaviour" and more concerned with something that happens to you personally.
So, although not sure whether it can be called a "show", at a partly-staged performance of Romeo and Juliet conducted by Rostropovich (only time I ever saw him) something we had for dinner gave us food-poisoning. Being in the middle of a row I managed to hold out till the interval and then rushed home -luckily then it was in the Barbican - just in time to dispose of the offending dinne in an oesophagic manner.
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Post by synchrony on May 16, 2016 23:10:37 GMT
Not really my story to tell, but a friend once projectile vomited onto the woman sat in front of her. At what show?!?!! My worst theatre experience was when the woman behind me vomited down my back!!! Was it you?!?! Or is this a more common event than I realised?! Haha! |
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Post by Deleted on May 16, 2016 23:10:53 GMT
Took a load of coke and glue just before Merrily We Roll Along @ HarryPinter and then sat on the front row. BAD IDEA. I thought the backwards timeframe was my fault
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Post by synchrony on May 16, 2016 23:29:19 GMT
One of my worst theatre experiences was when I was about 9 or 10 years old. My Mum took me to see a ballet, which was part of Swan Lake in Act 1, but Act 2 included random stuff including some audience Q&A.
The male lead kicked off the questions by asking if anyone in the audience knew what they put in pointe shoes to make it possible to stand on your toes. To this day, I do not know what possessed me to raise my hand, because I didn't know the answer, but raise it I did. And he picked me. Realising, with horror, that everyone was awaiting my answer, I said the first thing that came into my head, which was 'concrete'.
Of course the whole theatre and cast cracked up, and I was really, really embarrassed. Why did I say concrete?!?! Arghh!
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Post by Deleted on May 17, 2016 4:53:05 GMT
The male lead kicked off the questions by asking if anyone in the audience knew what they put in pointe shoes to make it possible to stand on your toes. The correct answer, of course, is "your feet". |
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Post by PhantomNcl on May 17, 2016 10:40:10 GMT
My first ever panto shift as an usher... I could see a little boy sat on the back row of the Grand Circle looking rather ill, but before I could reach him with a sick bag he projectile vomited over the kid sat in front of him. The kid in front reached his hand up to his head, brought his hand back down, sniffed it... and vomited on the kid in front of him. By this time the first child had started to make his way to the end of the row to go to the loo, and had been sick on everyone on the row in front on his way out. Within the space of about 5 minutes the whole of the seating block was awash with sick, and all I could do was sit and watch in horror before reaching for the sick crystals.
One happy sick occasion was a couple of years ago, also during the panto. One of the audience members had been particularly horrible to the FoH staff on her way in, and during the interval too, then just 10 minutes before the end the kid next to her was copiously sick in her handbag. She came out of the auditorium with the handbag held aloft, shouting "Quick, I need a wet wipe!". An old chap who was waiting to collect his wife & grandkids said "I'm not sure about a wet wipe, pet - looks like you could do with a shower!"
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Post by 49thand8th on May 17, 2016 16:53:32 GMT
This didn't happen to me, but I witnessed it -- and to this day it's one of my favorite stories to tell (though maybe not if I'd been involved).
It was the tour of the most recent Sweeney Todd revival, at the American Conservatory Theatre in San Francisco several years ago. It's a very tall, somewhat cramped theatre, which means in the mezz, your knees reach the same level as the head of the person in front of you. So, pretty great view. It's also very curved and not very wide, so if you're over to the side, as I was, you can get a good view of people in the mid-mezz without turning too far.
At intermission, I look over to my left and I see a man with his arms up and slightly outstretched (like this but NOT smiling ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ) and there's something on his hands. He looks angry but mostly bewildered. The guy behind him looks incredibly embarrassed. Then I see the first guy touching his back. And I see what's on his back. It's chocolate. It's chocolate from a Nestle Crunch Bar. You could see the bits of rice. Then I see Embarrassed Guy slowly pulling his open backpack up off his lap.
So from what I could tell, Embarrassed Guy had a crunch bar in his backpack. His backpack was on his lap and opened at the top. At some point in Act 1, the bar had fallen out and in between the seat and Angry Guy. It had melted all over the seat and Angry Guy's shirt for all of Act 1.
And at this point, the ACT staff was rushing over to Angry Guy with an ACT t-shirt to change into, and paper towels to clean up his hands and the seat. I saw the foil and wrapper at this point. Everyone was trying not to make a scene. Intermission was kind of long.
The lesson is: If you have a backpack, keep it closed. If you have a snack that can melt, make sure it's not touching a warm body for an entire act. I'm guessing this is the worst thing that's ever happened at the theatre to Embarrassed Guy and Angry Guy.
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Post by longinthetooth on May 17, 2016 17:29:10 GMT
Not really my story to tell, but a friend once projectile vomited onto the woman sat in front of her. At what show?!?!! My worst theatre experience was when the woman behind me vomited down my back!!! Was it you?!?! Or is this a more common event than I realised?! Haha! Jersey Boys, a couple of years ago ........ |
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Post by Marwood on May 17, 2016 20:03:53 GMT
I saw Paul Rudd & Michael Shannon in Grace on Broadway when I was last in NYC in 2012, thankfully not the night this happened: GothamistJust grateful that the worst thing that has happened to me is someone dropping a bottle during a show. |
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I sat through the show and my knee kept swelling. When I got to the hotel I could hardly put down my pants. I went to the doctor the next day. The knee was twice its original size and deep blue but nothing was fractured... Thank god... ^^ 
