Bad Behaviour at a Show

I have a strong mental image of several frequent posters, and Theatremonkey is bald.

You have no idea. I buy two seats on airplanes, and they are not next to each other. (This defeats the purpose of buying two seats). 

At the theatre, I often buy two seats, next to each other, as is permitted at the theatre. This is often not sufficient, especially at the Donmar, where people are seated next to me, despite me explaining that I have in fact purchased the supposedly empty seat next to me.

Whatever we fat people do, it is embarrassing. Please, have a little pity.

The Finborough is the worst - their idea of how many of their patrons can fit on those benches defies all laws of physics! I always feel so sorry for the last couple of people in, trying to squeeze into a space that only has room for half a buttock. 

So many times at the Finborough I've had half my attention on the play and half on obsessively trying to work out whether I'm taking up more than my fair share of bum space. hardly a relaxing way to spend an evening.

The key at the Finborough is to get in early and grab an aisle or end of row seat.

I always do this anyway but it doesn't stop fat people shoving you and if you're at the aisle end, you're the unfortunate one who ends up only half on a seat.  I've bemoaned this before, regardless of venue, and it isn't a criticism of those who are larger than average, but I've noticed that when in a group, that group, presumably of friends/family, never accommodates the large person within their seats but somehow always arranges for her/him to be at the end, leaving some poor stranger squashed, seething but unable to speak up for fear of being accused of rudeness.  I reckon they know very well what they are doing, consciously or unconsciously.  

Another issue I've noticed is that, not surprisingly, some very large people tend to breathe heavily or wheeze, which can also be very distracting.  I am not saying any large person can help their size, let alone am I making any ill-informed comment on the supposed reasons for it; what I am saying is that there are consequences for others and that one aspect of good behaviour in any situation is having consideration for others, which however usually seems lacking here.

I was there and the 'wooper' you're on about was sat in the front row of the upper circle, 3 rows in front of me. SO offputting! I'm not surprised that Craig was put off. Completely spoiled the moment!

Talking about Kinky Boots yesterday afternoon, a couple could not decide whether they were coming or going. Just after 'Land of Lola', they erupted from their seats in the centre of my row and shoved themselves past us making tonnes of racket.

They then had a lengthy conversation with the usher who was obviously trying to take them out rather than stay in the auditorium. She eventually managed to get them out, but without closing the curtain behind her, letting in streams of light. Another audience member on the second row had to get up and close it!

Seconds later, the couple and usher returned. They sat in seats on the end of the aisle up to 'Sex in the Heel' before getting up again and walking out.

About 10mins later, they reappeared AGAIN and another usher was with them...

After the interval they never returned, but having them come and go whenever they pleased was really distracting, especially with the lights shining through! Grrrr! Make your mind up - stay or go!

Well I think I've seen it all now! At this evening's performance of Us/Them at the National, there were some very strange noises coming from the pit partway through which could have been chalked up to someone coughing very awkwardly (or similar) until a woman's voice rang out loud and clear, "do you want me to come and lie down with you?", followed by aforementioned woman clambering onto the stage and lying down! The actors took it very much in their stride and carried on until a stage manager came to escort the woman off. To her credit, she went very quietly, but I've never seen anything like it before, and it did make it quite tricky to get back into the "watching a play" mindset. I think I'd rather have crisp packets and mobile phones in future.

This wasn't exactly 'bad' behaviour more 'poor ettiquite' and also a little bit 'oi that's my head'

So curtain call at Lazurus on Friday, there's a standing ovation that, actually myself and viserys aren't joining in with, despite being in the front row (discuss your horror at that as you will) mid curtain call I hear in my ear (loudly) "MICHAEL MICHAEL" and suddenly there's something waving around my head (and on it). Turns out the woman was trying to give Michael C Hall a card (no envelope, now THAT is bad behaviour) so he awkwardly leans out to get it, someone to my left eventually 'helping' pass it over. Woman shouts again "MICHAEL PLEASE READ IT" he sheepishly takes it, smiles graciously and goes.

I then turned around and the woman was also wearing a blue wig. (for those who have seen it...)

Also my friend who was sitting further back noted that the people behind them, and I quote "Clearly haven't been to the theatre or even around people before" as they were annoying througout chattering, eating and kicking seats.

Someone was doing this somewhere in our row at Sister Act yesterday. Made the seats feel like one of those 4D cinema experiences!

Monkey is clearly giving off some pheromones lately

hahaha secret is out now!