Bad Behaviour at a Show

Ooh what a hoo-ha! I've just had a full-on stand up argument with a dreadful couple at Little Shop of Horrors! 

So the show starts and the female starts immediately singing. Very. Very. Loudly. She's across the aisle and a row in front and it's still very audible above the cast and we are way down the front of the stalls so it's quite loud. Three songs in and she's still at it. I decide I'm nipping this in the bud right now so I lean forward out of my seat and do a loud "shhhhhhhhhh.... thank you!". She is silenced. 

The show continues. She goes to the toilet, the male then goes to the toilet. Drinks are being drunk. 

Interval: uneventful..I'm with five pals and we're stood in the aisle chatting about alsorts, including bad backs, the original Come Dancing with Peggy Spencer and her dance team from Penge, and Hedy Lamarr's contribution to modern mobile communications (all male friends... you get the picture). The only mention of the singer was one of my group saying thanks for stopping the singing. Second half passes with two more toilet visits (them not us) and finally it's curtain down.  

So then we're in that little gap while you're waiting for the crowd to clear so you can make progress to the exit and the female turns round and starts ranting that I'm not better than anyone else and how dare I talk to her like that. So I say I dont want to hear her singing and the male says scornfully "you don't want to hear people singing?" Then she starts going on about how I was making fun of her hair! WTF? I never mentioned her hair! I say this and she says "you did, you did! I heard you making fun of my hair, you're no better than me!". My pal wades in "he never mentioned your hair, I've been stood here all the time" and her BF says "he must have, should wouldn't lie about it would she?". The BF is quite small and weasly and I'm 6'3 and built like a barn door do I just smiled nicely and said "she's mistaken". She has a final go about how im no better than her and they move off. 

I mean like WTF? What are people like? 

It was only when she mentioned her hair that I actually looked at her hair and yeah it was pretty hideous. But that's not the point, I'm innocent!

When she was saying "you're no better than me" repeatedly I have to confess the urge to say "I am" was strong. But I'm a gent, init. 

Clever, indeed, though I note the old issue of refusing to allow externally purchased food and drink rears its head again. By and large, I guess they simply reserve the right to refuse it..

Hideous incident at Wicked the other night.

I was sat in the front row, and the 5 seats to the left of me were occupied by a group of girls, all around 18-20 I would say. I knew they were going to be trouble from when they sat down and started talking about how well they knew the cast and how rubbish the leads are compared with a few years ago, you know, "those" sorts of people.

The show starts and within 20 seconds they're giving a loud commentary on everything that's happening in front of them, monkey swings down on a rope, one: "I always think he's gonna fall off the rope", another one: "I could never do that, I hate heights" etc. I dramatically turn to look at them and give the biggest glare I am capable of, no impact. Commentary continues, I turn and equally as loudly as them (average talking volume) say "will you PLEASE be quiet?"

This stops them for roughly 30 seconds, at which point the commentary resumes, and the laughing begins. They begin doing a Jimmy Carr level laugh at almost every line, regardless of whether it's funny or not, and then a couple of them move to put their feet on the seats, followed almost immediately by the first one running off less than discretely to go to the toilet. By this point, we are about 3 minutes in, and I am fuming. As the first person returns from the toilet I turn to the entire group and not so quietly say "for the love of God, will you all just SHUT UP."

Spoiler alert. They didn't. At least 2 toilet trips EACH, loud commentary, panto crying, dramatic laughter, what looked like an entire picnic for a family of 32 being passed backwards and forwards, the one closest to me kicking me with her twice minutely leg stretches (I think that was intentional) and 3 more increasing rude warnings from me, and several more from those around me going ignored.

The interval rolls around, and after nipping outside for some fresh air and to remind myself that theatrical genocide isn't worth it, I decided to go and find one of the FOH staff. I happened to catch the theatre manager, who was very apologetic and went straight off to have a word. It turns out that the couple on the other side of them, 2 groups of people in the row behind, and the Musical Director conducting the orchestra had complained about them, meaning that almost every FOH member in the theatre had taken turns to go up and tell them off over the course of the interval. Unfortunately they weren't removed, but receiving 5 consecutive bollockings WAS enough to keep them quiet and still for Act 2, although they did spend the rest of the interval loudly insulting everyone around them (I was either the anorexic albino or the mouthy one who's never had sex, I'm not sure which). It's one of those experiences that makes you wonder why you bother going to the theatre at all.

Don't worry, BB, I'm on that delete button..... 

I don't think that's bad behaviour at all (apart from being so young nowadays).

Someone behind me singing along to A Whole New World at Aladdin this evening. I hope me turning around and glaring at them twice got the message across

I'm convinced that some people cough purely because they hear someone else do it and they have an almost irresistible urge to mimic. It's the only explanation for why silences are always filled with an increasing number of coughs.

It is one of those subconscious things I'm sure. Also sometimes you can be attacked by a cough completely unawares, having thought I was completely recovered a few weeks ago something revived my cough mid performance and I spent a good ten minutes choking back a cough hoping for a laughter break...it's annoying yes, but sometimes you think all is well and then the human body takes its revenge.

In Alan J Lerner’s book about the Theatre he says people cough when the show loses interest. He always listened for this and that was the clue to start reworking.



Time for Woman in Black to get the Director back in?

I've noticed an increasing trend of people reacting to some scenes as if they're watching a film on TV at home.

Cymbeline at the Barbican last night, when Innogen wipes the blood from the headless corpse being the perfect example....