Bad Behaviour at a Show

Nothing so fancy by the sound of it - you could also call it a hair bobble or a hair elastic.

That's sweet that you imagine I'm relatively well-groomed. Truth be told, I rarely even drag a brush through my hair.

Well, it all kicked off at Titanic this afternoon. Mum & two teenage daughters decide to take a pic of the stage before the show started. For those who haven't seen it, there is an actor sitting at a table on stage (the designer of the ship, studying the plans) while everyone takes their seats. Cue usher coming over to tell them not to take pictures and to delete the one they had taken. Profuse apologies, then I heard, "he thinks I've deleted it, but I haven't."

Halfway through the first half the nose bags came out. Each one of them had one, I assume popcorn or something similar, judging from the rustling and prolonged munching. Come the interval, a man leaned over to them and in no uncertain terms told them it was disrespectful and rude to be eating in front of the actors, due to the noise and smell (of the food, I hasten to add, they weren't that bad). They were in the second row, and in a small theatre like the Charing Cross I would imagine they were visible from the stage. More profuse apologies, then Mum got up and disappeared. "It's ok, Mum's gone to sort it." In the meantime someone else had got involved and a debate was under way on to eat or not to eat. Mum duly comes back. "It is ok to eat, I've checked and they say we can. Well, we did buy it here." Thankfully, though, I think they got the message.

The curtains are one thing, George, but the set design is copyrighted by the designer, and once you set foot in a theatre, you agree to abide by their rules, which somewhere include "please do not take unauthorised photographs of the copyrighted material". Just so you know for the future. And all that aside, you never ever ever take a photograph of the stage if there's an actor on it, even if the show hasn't started yet, so these ladies were doing a double-wrong.

Yes I do know all this. I have been to the theatre loads of times (probably more times than you think I have) and I know the rules about photography. I would never take a photo of an actor on stage anyway! If a show has got a nice, lavish curtain before the show with say the shows name written across it, then I usually take a picture. But it's not just me, if you go on social media, loads of people have got pictures of the auditorium beforehand. 

I really don't like it when people record an actual show! I also don't like it when people just go on their phone during a show! How can they not last 2 and a half hours without looking at their phone?!

I had a sense of humour failure at the NT the other week when I was forced to put my fairly small backpack in the cloakroom then a woman with a much bigger shopping bag was let in no problem. Thanks for the carrier bag tip, I will do this next time! Just checked and my backpack fits nicely in a Waitrose bag-for-life

Do many theatres ban bags? I had my bag checked on the way into Aladdin but I've never been told I can't have it.

Ventilation is under the seats at the NT. Large bags under seats block it.

I once was asked to put a rather small backpack into the cloakroom, which I did. Then as I walked into the theatre there was a woman with a handbag twice the size of my backpack strolling in with no-one batting an eyelid.

At this point in time I should point out that I'd had a very bad day and was not in the greatest of moods.

This really bugged me because her bag was twice the size of mine (literally).

Off I went back to the cloakroom and asked for my backpack to be returned as I was taking it in with me. I was told I couldn't so I politely asked if we could talk about the NT's equal opportunities policy and the fact that they appear to have a policy but don't apply it fairly and equally. I suggested they go into the auditorium and ask the lady with the large handbag to put it into the cloakroom or they could return my bag.

Backpack was returned.

My son worked at the Royal Albert Halls through Prom Season a few years ago and was tasked to care for a service dog while the patron enjoyed the music.  Walked, watered, fussed the beastie and got paid for it.