Opening Night - Gielgud

Oh Steve you’ve got me excited again now, I do love the film so maybe I’ll be one of the 4* club too 😄

I love Steve's review and I wish I felt the same but I just felt like I was watching a different show. The Opening Night Steve describes is the show I wanted to see!!!! I might try and give it one more chance after things settle a bit. I just have to admit I found it as awful as everyone else did here. 

Seeing the show again now. Guys, I have some bad news and you should sit down before continuing reading.


The hoovering is gone.

Here tonight. Interval

Did they purposely try to make the worst show?
Is this an episode of the apprentice? Or a comedy skit or something?

Can we petition for the hoover to be put back in?

Is there a way back for van Hove? This is at the level of career-ending.

Now, I've got nothing against a narrative-free, character study, but, after sitting through tonight's turgid mess, I haven't got a clue who actress Myrtle is and why she is such an all-round pain in the derrière. She's self-absorbed, self-obsessed and pretty selfish, but this manifests itself in an entirely uninteresting and dull first act. She's got a thing about getting old and needing to be loved, but haven't we all? She offers no fresh insight into the condition.

The secondary "characters" are drawn so badly that we never come close to a glimpse into who they might be. This is a play --sorry musical -- about the human condition that feels completely devoid of relatable human experience.

Act two is laughably bad, with some dialogue that drew mocking laughter from some of the audience. I tried to remember some of the "best" lines, but, of course, perhaps mercifully, I've forgotten them now.

The musical styles are all over the place as if they've been picked randomly by a computer. Actually scrub that; AI would probably do a better job. Bizarrely, there's even a throbbing electronic dance number late on that it is so out of kilter with everything else that I had to check I hadn't drifted off into a fever dream. I daresay van Hove might argue that this scene is meant to stand out and that is completely the point, but the jarring fails to elicit anything other than dropped jaws and incredulity at the ridiculousness of what unfolds. Of course, it's not long before we leap in the most dramatic and unconvincing of gear changes to the opposite extreme of a traditional rousing musical finale, that is if, squinting through the red netting, you can see it.

The cast work hard with conviction, but it's clear the material and the direction are irredeemably dire. One cannot help but wonder how such talented actors read the script and thought, yes, I want to be a part of this. Presumably the money was good or alternative work lacking.

Two stars (but sailing pretty close to one)

Act 1: 19:34-20:36
Act 2: 20:59-22:08

On the plus side, we enjoyed the Sprague -- rhymes with Craig not Prague -- Terrace. This is a gorgeous room high up between the Gielgud and Sondheim Theatres which we had to ourselves tonight as no-one else had taken up the offer of a cocktail and nibbles for £17.50 each. This is a cut above the lounges offered elsewhere, and was a quiet relaxing environment before the show and during the interval. We had a bartender each and a washroom each. An additional interval cocktail was either £9 or £11.50 which is excellent value, and they didn't stint on measures, which was just as well given what we had to endure downstairs.

Oh, and Tracie Bennett sat in front of us in the stalls and I was a little starstruck. I said nothing of course.

If the dreadful The Human Voice didn't end his career, nothing will.

I suppose it's all very well to construct a musical which veers away from the traditional narrative/characters of a commercial piece of theatre, but when put in a commercial venue and charging commercial prices, how is it going to fill its house 8 times a week? It's going to need some elements that lend to a broader appeal in order to do that.

For anyone keen to catch the outdoor scene, it occurred at 21:47 last night.

You had to laugh at the footage of punters entering Broadway's "Orpheum Theatre" for the opening night, replete with black cabs and red double-deckers, all driving on the left. I guess no more suspension of disbelief required than when listening to some of the on-stage accents. I did wonder why van Hove didn't simply make everyone British and have the Gielgud play itself.

Oddly, I don't regret seeing Opening Night and I would recommend others to see it. It's the theatrical equivalent of rubber-necking whilst driving.

One has to wonder if Sheridan has ‘people’ or if she self manages? “Keep an eye out for something different” has so far led to an execrable channel 5 damp squib ‘thriller’ and this. She is a peoples ‘sweetheart’, and as such should only do unchallenging, lowest common denominator work that they will enjoy. Silly her for thinking she could break out of the box of peoples pre-conceived notions! 🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄🙄