Theatre quotes you say all the time

I know when you see a single magpie, you're meant to say "good morning, Mister Magpie". But more often than not, I'll shout "when sorrows come, they come NOT single spies, but in BATTALIONS", just so the single solitary magpie knows that neither I nor Billy Shakespeare hold any truck with superstition.

I have to applaud those choices!

Whenever anyone says 'suspense' I have to supress the urge to say (imitating very specifically Mary Louise Parker) 'The suspense Mr Lies, is killing me'

Also heaven help anyone I meet named Joey because I really can't help saying 'Joooeeeey' at them.

This one is proper niche but if someone says 'moo' I say 'Moo Darling moo' which was a line Gillian Anderson had in 'What the Night it for' an utter lifetime ago.

Like the late Sir Peter Hall in 'Uncle Vanya', I can often be found shouting "No, please stop now" at any number of productions in London's glitzy West End.

I'll drink to that. Oh there's another one.

It's one that's difficult to work into polite conversation!!

Tangental story, I was on a skype call with my producer the other week, when mid conversation he stopped and said 'I've just noticed the mug on your shelf' which was indeed my 'f*** you I'm a prophet' mug. I really have considered passive-aggressively drinking out of it in our meetings previously. 

(Ok I also deliberately put 'prior' into sentences I write) 

"I washed my face and hands before I come I did"

Largely to my mum when we've wiped the dog's faces, or washed their paws.

I know what you mean. 

I can't help but sing "he had it comin'" from Chicago if the situation fits, which is often.

I did use “The great work begins” once with some work colleagues. All I got back was a look of bewilderment and the comment “ok, what drugs have you taken?”. I have never felt so deflated. I no longer bother as the humour is totally wasted on them.

I don't use quotes from shows for things but... If I get a feed line I can't help but sing (in my head 😂) the rest of it.

Example every time I hear someone say "At the end of the day" I can't help but go "you get nothing for nothing". Or if someone says "on my own" no matter the context "pretending he's beside me". No matter how hard I try I keep doing it.

You can’t take the truth - one of mine from A Few Good Men.

When a friend offers to buy me a drink at a fancy restaurant, I tend to unleash my inner Vera Charles and respond: 'Well, maybe just a tiny triple!'

When my husband passes me something (dinner plate, remote control, a drink...anything) i quote Norma Desmond and "Thank you.....thank you, Joe.....thank you". Would work even better if he wasn't called Steve...

I find myself quite often singing "it sucks to be you" to people in some situations. And a colleague has a habit of saying "let's get down to business" to which I respond "to defeat the Huns" (though, as she's never seen Mulan, this took some explaining at first...)*

Whenever I hear someone say (usually on a TV show) "what is this place?" I have to respond with "it's called a department store" (thanks Legally Blonde)

And I've developed a nasty habit of changing song lyrics to suit everyday situations, like singing I've Got Rhythm about my dinner:
I've got chicken
And potatoes
And some gravy
Who could ask for anything more?

(good job my beloved is nearly as barmy as me...)


*yes, I know it's not theatre, but it is a musical, right?

Absolutely.

I'm prone to delivering bad news/project updates with "If you have tears, prepare to shed them now." 

"Passing Strange" is another one that does the rounds in the office.