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Post by Peach on May 13, 2017 22:22:12 GMT
One of my friends complained that I booked for Hamilton and didn't ask her along. The stress of getting tickets for things like that is bad enough without finding two good tickets together and then having to ring the friend "oh are you free on this day? Will you pay this price?" By which time the tickets would be gone. Exactly the reason why I only booked a single for Hamilton! I occasionally go with a friend but 95% of the time I go alone. My friends tend to be the 1 show a year on a special occasion type.
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Post by Tibidabo on May 13, 2017 22:47:53 GMT
*Pokes head above parapet* Five pages. FIVE PAGES....and I'm the first one who would rather eat a toenail toastie than go to the theatre by myself.
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Post by Phantom of London on May 14, 2017 0:02:08 GMT
As I said in a earlier post I saw Lettice and Lovage at the Menier and was going to see Fracked at Richmond, but no trains from Waterloo put the block on that 😕. So thought I try for a Angels in America Part 2 ticket, bring forward my visit as kind wait to see it, but sold out 😕. So rocked up at Drury Lane and got a day ticket for £15 for 42nd Street 😋.
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Post by wickedgrin on May 14, 2017 2:32:37 GMT
Just the kind of thing I do Phantom. We have never been seen in the same room have we?
I go alone to the theatre 90% of the time. It's a real drama getting my friends to agree a date etc. Then if they sort themselves out I have to do all the organisation , book the tickets, chase the money, remind them, suggest transport, be the tour guide, ridiculously take responsibility if they don't enjoy the show. It's far too much like hard work!
I don't tend to tell them I've seen something as their response is always "oh you should have said you were going I would have loved to have seen that "!
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Post by showgirl on May 14, 2017 5:04:43 GMT
*Pokes head above parapet* Five pages. FIVE PAGES....and I'm the first one who would rather eat a toenail toastie than go to the theatre by myself. But that's absolutely fine, Tibidabo - each to her own and the important thing is that we are all free - or should be - to do as we please. I started going to the theatre (and cinema) alone as a teenager so it was a well-established habit before I was an adult and at a time when few of my friends - even from my English Lit class at school - were interested, so it never occurred to me to question it and I always thought others were the odd ones when I encountered someone who was surprised by this or said s/he could not do the same. That said, I started walking in groups and it was only when I was driven - by sheer frustration at others' slow pace and paltry distances - to strike out on my own, that I really got going. That was well over 20 years ago and I've never looked back in either sense, so I'd suggest trying a solo theatre trip just once to see how you fare; you never know, you might find you prefer it!
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Post by moelhywel on May 14, 2017 7:54:36 GMT
Like showgirl I started going to the theatre alone when I was in my teens. These days I usually go to local theatres with my husband but when I go to London I either go alone or sometimes with my son who lives in London. He is very much a film person so l have been trying to educate him in theatre by buying tickets for him for things I think he will like to see, usually because of who is in the play. I'm obviously succeeding because occasionally he has now asked me if I want to see something. I also go to the ballet a lot and because the same people go to several performances of the same thing for different casts I have made several friends because we keep seeing each other and have got chatting. I enjoy going alone because I can do my own thing but having someone else with me does mean that I've got someone to discuss the performance with. So for me I like the combination of alone and with someone that I have.
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Post by Jan on May 14, 2017 9:06:25 GMT
*Pokes head above parapet* Five pages. FIVE PAGES....and I'm the first one who would rather eat a toenail toastie than go to the theatre by myself. That said, I started walking in groups and it was only when I was driven - by sheer frustration at others' slow pace and paltry distances - to strike out on my own, that I really got going. I very rarely go to the theatre alone but I have absolutely no problem at all about doing so - makes no difference to me either way. However, on walking you are 100% right, alone is the only way I do it when on a "serious" long walk - Thames Path, Capital Ring, London Loop - you need to establish your own pace and rhythm.
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Post by kathryn on May 14, 2017 9:46:45 GMT
I've always resented missing Sean Bean in Macbeth because someone else in the friendship group had already seen it, and didn't want to go again. That meant we had to see something else, and I was too stupidly timid to go back on my own at that age. But I think that was the experience that made me realise that I had to go to the theatre solo if I was ever going to see the things *I* wanted to, waiting to find someone to come with me wasn't going to work.
Once you've gone solo once, and the rest of the audience has failed to point at you and shout 'weirdo!', you realise how much less stressful it is than organising a group.
Having said that, I do have a reliable theatre-buddy who comes with me half the time - to plays, at least. She's not a huge musical fan.
There was the time in New York on holiday with friends when I effectively forced my friends to see Jesus Christ Superstar by declaring in the TKTS queue that I *was* getting a ticket for it and they were welcome to pick something else as I didn't mind going alone. Mind you, we did miss out on seeing Philip Seymour Hoffman in Death of a Salesman because they couldn't get themselves up and ready quickly enough for Day seats and weren't willing to try again the next day, as we were already seeing a show that evening and it didn't want to do a matinee too. Should have done that one solo.
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2017 9:54:29 GMT
*Pokes head above parapet* Five pages. FIVE PAGES....and I'm the first one who would rather eat a toenail toastie than go to the theatre by myself. I did giggle at 'toenail toastie' But not at all, I love going with people (the right people haha) as much possibly more than alone. And in the last year or so it's actually rarer that I go alone, and I love having someone to chat to about the play/musical/weird interprative dance performance art sh*te we've just enjoyed/endured together. BUT sometimes I know I'm the only one in my friendship ground who will remotely enjoy this and/or nobody can get themselves organised. So I'd rather go alone than miss out. But also each to their own. No judgement! Unless you ARE eating that toenail toastie. Then I judge you a bit.
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2017 10:18:20 GMT
Toenail toastie does sound awfully specific! Would you like to say anymore about that?
The problem with solo viewing is nobody to share something wonderful with. A friend dropped out of Dreamgirls last year but now wants to go and see it but I have other things I want to see now and am generally not a fan of repeat views, ( i am aware this marks me as a bit of a wierdo in some circles)
But getting someone to go with you as others have mentioned means you can feel responsible for their enjoyment which is stressful!!
I've done my share in the distant past of missing things because I had nobody to go with and not wanting to look strange but the beauty of aging (dis) gracefully is that you stop giving a 💩 about that!! 😄😄
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Post by theatre-turtle on May 14, 2017 10:28:39 GMT
Alone or with whoever my boy at the time is.
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2017 11:12:39 GMT
I always felt quite nervous about the thought of going to the theatre alone.
Last year when we went to see Sunset Boulevard, Glenn was off sick. I really wanted to see her but the hubby was not so bothered so I booked to go back on my own. First time I did it and felt completely at ease and would definitely do it again.
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2017 14:17:09 GMT
I think the first time I did it was The Book of Mormon. I remember looking around and counting about 6 other people on their own in the circle and ever since I realized how normal it actually is.
Nowadays, I go to New York every year - most of the time on my own (LOVE travelling alone) - so I have no option but to see Broadway shows alone. Although to be fair in New York it's rare that the person sitting next to you doesn't try and strike up a conversation with you.
I also go to see films a lot on my own now too.
The one I'm still struggling to get past is eating in restaurants on my own. I will conquer it one day.
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Post by samuelwhiskers on May 14, 2017 15:02:16 GMT
I adore my friends but their idea of theatre etiquette is, charitably, not always entirely up to my admittedly rather exacting standards.
I am also at the exact level of career success/blagging ability to be able to wangle most press night comps but not important enough to be allowed to bring a plus one. And a certain level of cheapness, to be frank.
Which is to say: friends are essential but some pleasures are best sampled alone. Or in the spontaneous joy of a shared experience with strangers.
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Post by viserys on May 14, 2017 15:39:16 GMT
What a lovely thread. I'm also firmly in the "going solo camp, at least when it comes to London - I can't/don't want to arrange for people to travel along from Germany with me all the time and I like the flexibility to do my own thing in London - not just theatre, but also shopping, sightseeing, daytrips, meeting local people, whatever. I like the fact that travelling solo enables me to meet people in London, including from this forum.
Here in Germany I usually go with my Mom. Just like @emicardiff I started theatre-going when I was too young to go solo (and had no driving license) and she'd start taking me to see things and so we still see shows together on occasion, though much less now as my theatre-going is almost entirely London. Sometimes I drag her along because I want her to see some excellent shows we'd never get to see in Germany but that's like once in two years or so. I used to go with a friend quite a bit, but stuff happened there I'd rather not get into on a forum and these days I just don't bother asking her anymore.
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Post by The Matthew on May 14, 2017 17:29:24 GMT
The problem with solo viewing is nobody to share something wonderful with. There's always the forum as a last resort. I mean first. First resort.
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Post by justafan on May 14, 2017 17:38:48 GMT
I find the whole ticket booking process for more than one person incredibly stressful. Is the view ok, is the price ok, is there somewhere close by to eat beforehand, is the price for rail tickets ok, will my friends theatre etiquette be acceptable, are the leads on, have I overdone the marketing of the show ... I'm so stressed at this point I don't really care if they enjoy the show. So so much easier to go on your own! Tho I will go with others - so long as I don't have to organise or recommend a show 😀
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Post by HereForTheatre on May 14, 2017 17:42:09 GMT
90% of the time i go alone. That said, i still don't feel 100% comfortable about it becuase I was thinking about this yesterday when i was in the theatre and started wondering if anyone around me was wondering or finding it a little odd that i was on my own. Because after all these years of going on my own i can't believe that it still obviously sometimes crosses my mind or bothers me. It's silly really.
I'm going alone to The Colour Purple on Sunday evening. Actually thinking about it i think that it's more those types events it creeps in. I remember going to see a singer at the Palladium last year and i think gigs or concerts feel a little bit more exposing for a solo visit than a theatre performance. Maybe that's just me.
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2017 17:52:36 GMT
90% of the time i go alone. That said, i still don't feel 100% comfortable about it becuase I was thinking about this yesterday when i was in the theatre and started wondering if anyone around me was wondering or finding it a little odd that i was on my own. Because after all these years of going on my own i can't believe that it still obviously sometimes crosses my mind or bothers me. It's silly really. I'm going alone to The Colour Purple on Sunday evening. Actually thinking about it i think that it's more those types events it creeps in. I remember going to see a singer at the Palladium last year and i think gigs or concerts feel a little bit more exposing for a solo visit than a theatre performance. Maybe that's just me. Not alone in that- I feel weirdly weird going to gigs/concerts alone. I'd be ok at a sit-down concert somewhere like the Albert Hall or something classical/musical ish I think but it still feels a bit odd. I tried going to a 'proper' gig alone once but found it so miserable/weird I came home before the band I'd come to see (it was only in a live music club not a big concert so hadn't spent lots of money)
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Post by grannyjx6 on May 14, 2017 18:21:12 GMT
It is a bit odd going to a 'gig' on your own, but I've been quite happy going to my local theatre solo for a few years now. I used to book groups for theatre trips at work and it was a flipping nightmare collecting money, sorting tickets etc. I took redundancy/early retirement a few years back and although I was asked to carry on, didn't and find it soo much easier to go only at a time/price/date that suits me. It is nice to have a like minded friend with you though, so once or twice a year I book a few days in London and drag my long suffering husband along and occasionally a good friend but obviously have to fit in with her commitments.
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Post by Phantom of London on May 14, 2017 18:55:04 GMT
However most of friends/co-workers wouldn't dream of going to the theatre, there attitude is something 'of a big gay musical'.
However it was funny describing to a couple of colleagues, the older then, that thinks Nigel Farage is amaIng what Angels in America was amount and seeing the grimace on their face. Things didn't improve when I went on to The Goat, Or Who is Sylvia.
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2017 19:17:25 GMT
However most of friends/co-workers wouldn't dream of going to the theatre, there attitude is something 'of a big gay musical'. However it was funny describing to a couple of colleagues, the older then, that thinks Nigel Farage is amaIng what Angels in America was amount and seeing the grimace on their face. Things didn't improve when I went on to The Goat, Or Who is Sylvia. haha I'm glad I'm not the only one who does that sort of things. My previous job was filled with Brexiters and narrowminded types of all sorts. So it was delightful to tell tales of what I'd been watching that weekend. Also great fun can be had with those types when you can have this conversation: 'Oh you have a PhD? what's it on?' 'AIDS' Then watch them either squirm a bit and say 'oh' and walk off. Attempt to ask an awkward question, or make an inappropriate remark (which I then cut down)
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Post by Phantom of London on May 14, 2017 19:39:57 GMT
However most of friends/co-workers wouldn't dream of going to the theatre, there attitude is something 'of a big gay musical'. However it was funny describing to a couple of colleagues, the older then, that thinks Nigel Farage is amaIng what Angels in America was amount and seeing the grimace on their face. Things didn't improve when I went on to The Goat, Or Who is Sylvia. haha I'm glad I'm not the only one who does that sort of things. My previous job was filled with Brexiters and narrowminded types of all sorts. So it was delightful to tell tales of what I'd been watching that weekend. Also great fun can be had with those types when you can have this conversation: 'Oh you have a PhD? what's it on?' 'AIDS' Then watch them either squirm a bit and say 'oh' and walk off. Attempt to ask an awkward question, or make an inappropriate remark (which I then cut down) Your bang on my humour wavelength here, of course I do it on purpose, to watch them squirm, needless to say I wouldn't bother describing Carousel or 42nd Street. A couple of the comments afterwards would be best described as homophobic, which I won't repeat on here, but kind of hilarious, especially one who said but who is Sylvia!!!
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Post by sam22 on May 14, 2017 19:47:25 GMT
This is a really interesting thread. When I lived in London I ended up going to see nearly every show on my own for the various reasons other posters have said i.e. easier to organise, could see what I wanted, not having to hope friend liked it. Even when a show was sold out or the hot ticket I would still manage to get just one ticket.
Does anyone find it different outside of London though? I haven't been solo to my local theatre and I feel like I would stand out if I did. Part perhaps as I think I may bump into someone I know and be embarrassed but also they tend to have all the big jukebox shows or tours which I'm either not interested in or have already seen
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Post by sam22 on May 14, 2017 19:51:44 GMT
Plus imagine my fear of being featured in the bad behaviour thread. Went to see play with a friend and she got out a huge bar of chocolate during a serious part of show and started rustling. I shushed her and she laughed...but then carried on. It was so loud two people in front turned around. Mortified!
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Post by Deleted on May 14, 2017 20:42:10 GMT
I don't think it's been mentioned before but there's a difference going solo as a woman and as a man. Even in 2017 a woman on her own is much more likely to be approached by someone with a cheesey line, an offer of a drink, a compliment or a pretend question to initiate conversation. This happens even when reading, on the phone, listening to music, or standing behind a 10 foot electrified fence with Keep Out written on it. I think that can put some people off in addition to any other issues
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Post by Peach on May 14, 2017 22:02:41 GMT
I don't think it's been mentioned before but there's a difference going solo as a woman and as a man. Even in 2017 a woman on her own is much more likely to be approached by someone with a cheesey line, an offer of a drink, a compliment or a pretend question to initiate conversation. This happens even when reading, on the phone, listening to music, or standing behind a 10 foot electrified fence with Keep Out written on it. I think that can put some people off in addition to any other issues Speaking for my own experience, I've never been approached in any way like this and I eat in restaurants, go to theatre/cinema and stay in hotels by myself all the time. Some people perceive it as slightly odd if you go places alone though. They think I'm a 'no mates' who can't get anyone to go along and I think they are missing out on so much because of the unecessary constraints they place on their lives!
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Post by longinthetooth on May 14, 2017 22:46:23 GMT
As a somewhat mature woman, I have never batted an eyelid at going to the theatre alone. As so many have already said, in almost every way I prefer it. I can choose what I want, go when I want (either booking up months in advance or spontaneously deciding to dayseat) and plan the day around it.
However, when I was younger (several decades ago, it has to be said), I did encounter similar problems to pault - but never at the theatre. In the street, on the Tube, and as for the cinema (remind me to tell you about the dirty old man with the raincoat).... But as I grew older, this stopped, and I realised it was all to do with confidence - when I looked and felt nervous, that's when I was accosted. As the confidence grew, the unwanted pestering stopped. Now, of course, I am too old to warrant anything in that line - although I concede that restaurants can be a bit of a problem. Coffee shops and sandwich bars are fine, but I don't like going into a restaurant solo (this probably goes back again to when I was young, and sat for what seemed like hours trying to get the waiter's attention while all around me people got served). As for hotels, if I know the hotel, I would stay in it alone, but I'm not so sure I would if it was a first time visit. Just my thoughts.
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Post by viserys on May 15, 2017 5:23:14 GMT
I don't think it's been mentioned before but there's a difference going solo as a woman and as a man. Even in 2017 a woman on her own is much more likely to be approached by someone with a cheesey line, an offer of a drink, a compliment or a pretend question to initiate conversation. This happens even when reading, on the phone, listening to music, or standing behind a 10 foot electrified fence with Keep Out written on it. I think that can put some people off in addition to any other issues I never had this problem in London. In fact I have only been approached by someone annoying once while waiting for a friend in front of the Palace Theatre (not for a show, simply because it was a convenient meeting point). I didn't know how to shake him off politely, but luckily my friend turned up a few minutes later and since he's a good-looking fella, I made a show of greeting him with a hug and happy smiles to make a point, before walking off with him. Maybe I'm too old or it's my resting bitch face. As for being judged for being solo, in my experience the judging usually comes from clingy needy females who can't imagine doing anything without a man by their side, so if I get a sense of being judged, I simply silently judge back these days and feel sorry for them as they seem to be so dependant on someone else. However, I agree that while theatre and cinema are fine (sitting alone in a dark room) it feels a bit weird at live concert gigs and I don't go to those either on my own. Probably because it seems those are more about having a good time with friends, standing in small groups in front of the stage, etc. than actually being there for just the music.
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Post by shady23 on May 15, 2017 7:42:48 GMT
90% of the time i go alone. That said, i still don't feel 100% comfortable about it becuase I was thinking about this yesterday when i was in the theatre and started wondering if anyone around me was wondering or finding it a little odd that i was on my own. Because after all these years of going on my own i can't believe that it still obviously sometimes crosses my mind or bothers me. It's silly really. I'm going alone to The Colour Purple on Sunday evening. Actually thinking about it i think that it's more those types events it creeps in. I remember going to see a singer at the Palladium last year and i think gigs or concerts feel a little bit more exposing for a solo visit than a theatre performance. Maybe that's just me. Not alone in that- I feel weirdly weird going to gigs/concerts alone. I'd be ok at a sit-down concert somewhere like the Albert Hall or something classical/musical ish I think but it still feels a bit odd. I tried going to a 'proper' gig alone once but found it so miserable/weird I came home before the band I'd come to see (it was only in a live music club not a big concert so hadn't spent lots of money) Things "up north" I tend to go with friends or family but in London I go to lots by myself. Mainly as others won't pay the prices for travel etc from the north and I like to have freedom to do my own thing around the theatre. Might sound selfish but I count every minute down in London as time to make the most of as much as possible and would rather grab a sandwich etc. If I was with others it would be hours in restaurants. Although if a show is announced which has a layout of "tables" it does fill be with dread and can often stop me going. I did be brave recently and went to Rachel Tuckers show at Zedel and ended up sharing a table with three lovely ladies, one who was, incredibly, from the same small northern town as me. Ended up having a really great evening.
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