Cilla the musical, I'm upset.

So, they were supposed to be "open auditions" for the lead in "Cilla the musical". Hurrumph, fiddlesticks, stuff and nonsense. Readers will be dismayed to note that I was ejected from the queue as "unsuitable". I kindly pointed out that I have been singing Cilla songs almost since joining this world. I have a reasonable scouse/Berkshire accent and I can wear a tight skirt half way up me ar*e. The fact that I am a middleaged man should not be a disbarment to my participation in an "open audition". I asked if they had ever heard of blind casting. They said never mind blind casting, even Helen Keller could tell I wasn't right.

I showed them my Alfie as I left in high dudgeon I can tell you.

I hope my fellow boarders can offer me some Cilla words of comfort.......